If your family was anything like mine, you recognize the significance of having frequent family date nights. Does this sound familiar: kids are in one room busy either watching TV or surfing the web (only on weekends of course) and parents in a separate room doing the same thing? Well, that was my household.
My business has always been stressing to couples the need of staying connected to one another. I often promote getting a sitter and making time for dates. In addition to that, we also have to stay connected as a family. So now my new promotion is occasionally sending the sitter home and participating in “family” date nights. Our work can consume us if we let it. The marriage can easily become our main and only point of focus. If we let it fall by the wayside we have to play catch up to save it. And sometimes last on our ever growing life-to-do-list is the family. What happens when we neglect our family? We lose them. Can you imagine living in the same household with someone for years and have no clue who they are or what’s going on in their world? I can’t, so that’s why I had to take action with the following:
Talk about it ALL! We ask questions. My husband and I not only ask our children how their day was, but we ask for details. What happened on the bus, at lunch, how the quiz was, what happened with that class and even asking about their friends and what they’re up to. It’s good for me to know the type of company they keep. In my opinion no question is off limits. It might embarrass them, but I need to know. In turn, they can ask me anything as well, which they have. This type of communication is allowing us to build and maintain trust.
Turn off the TV and all other electronic devices. Okay, so I’ll admit we are still working on this one. Somehow this turns into a date night in itself. We all may just end up in front of the TV for a family movie night. At least we’re all together.
Hear their suggestions. Yes, parents are in charge. We know and the children know it too. But children need to feel validated and be confident that their opinions matter. We allow them to give ideas and usually in this area, what they say goes!
Leave the house. Whether we are hanging out with other family members or just sitting in the backyard, we know being outside of the house brings fresh ideas and a great connection.
Be spontaneous. The best dates are those that are spur of the moment. I highly recommend this one. Get up, get dressed and just get in the car. The children will have ideas, or you just may run into a fun activity on your way, like a food fest or a carnival may even be in town.
Get active. Okay, another one we’re working on. As I am starting to get a health plan in place I am also including my family. From meal planning ideas to the type of workout we’ll do, I get them involved. Our main goal with this one is making it consistent.
Learn together. My children are involved in various activities and what I have loved is when my husband and I are able to participate with them. Watching my husband play soccer with my daughter’s class and my learning a new dance move in our other child’s dance class has been enjoyable and a connection moment.
Family dates keep us connected. We have the opportunity to get away from it all and focus simply on those we love the most. Of course it feels great for the parents, but it’s also a chance to make lasting memories for the children.
BMWK family, please share your family date night ideas.