They say opposites attract, but if you’re motivated and driven and your spouse isn’t, there could be problems. I believe every person is born with goals and dreams. Life happens, challenges occur and our dreams are put on hold. But can we thrive in a relationship where, even if our dreams are on the shelf, we at least feel motivated to seek them again. It can be difficult when we have a spouse who may not support us or even worst, has no desire or motivation of their own.
Motivation shows up in a few different ways. One can be determined to pursue and achieve their individual goals and one can be compelled to maintain a healthy marriage. If either of these areas struggles, the whole marriage could suffer. It’s hard to stay motivated when finances aren’t as they should be or when we are pressured by the weight of the world. But somehow we have to pull ourselves up and know that we deserve all the blessings that come our way.
It’s easier said than done. But pushing past the obstacles that weigh us done is possible. There should always be growth and a longing to reach that next level in love and life. If one partner is reaching for the stars and the other is safer on the ground, should that be a problem? In some relationships there is usually one spouse more eager to make things happen than the other. Whenever we feel like it’s an uphill battle and we’re on that journey alone, it is a must we let our spouse know what we need. They may be content in their situation and not know our struggle.
I have heard so many individuals complain about their partner either having no plans and no ambition. Sometimes it’s just a matter of igniting that fire again. Life can beat us up so much until we feel defeated. We need a spouse who believes we are capable and can assist us in getting back on track. When our spouse seems unmotivated or stuck in a rut, they require our positive energy more than ever. What they don’t need is our negative criticism. If we think about what we need when we feel our flame dwindling, it definitely isn’t someone nagging us about changing. We usually know we want more, we are just unsure as to how to get it.
Words help, but not just any words. They must be words of encouragement. “You can do anything” and “I believe in you” are both powerful phrases we can use to move our partner forward.
Brainstorming is another great way to help our mate uncover their true passion and the next steps needed in order to reach their goals.
Discovering what our spouse really wants by having a discussion is helpful. Before we make assumptions, asking questions will help us get to the heart of the matter.
We must be willing to provide whatever it is to get our spouse out of the funk and up and moving. Asking how we can help and then following through on it is necessary.
When we share our dreams with others, inspiration happens. Have you ever been inspired by other people who are making their dreams a reality? The same can occur for our spouses when we reveal our goals.
It feels great when we go after what we really want in this life. It’s easier for some than others. Part of being a great partner is noticing when our spouse could use a pick me up. The positive energy will get them back on track.
BMWK, how do you motivate your spouse?