No one knows you better than you. You know your likes and dislikes, your joys and pains and even that quirky behavior you can’t even explain sometimes. Do you ever wish others, especially your spouse, knew you that well? They could, I mean if you ever decided to share what it’s really like to be you.
Many of the difficulties I see couples face are merging their lives and accepting one another for who they truly are. The reason this can be such a challenge is because, sometimes, we as individuals haven’t fully embraced and taken ownership of who we are. But the moment you realize you aren’t perfect and that it’s ok, is the moment your relationships become stronger.
Because your marriage is such an important part of your life, it’s time you took some action steps to ensure it’s the absolute best it can be. Here are a few suggestions for getting that process started.
The moment you realize you aren’t perfect … is the moment your relationships become stronger.
Learn, accept and love you.
You are who are. What you don’t like you can work on improving. In the meantime take an internal assessment. Who are? What are some behaviors you have that may be hard for others to accept? Ask yourself why that behavior exists and how it’s affecting your life. Think about the positive things you bring to your marriage and how they benefit your spouse.
Tell your spouse the truth about you.
After your personal assessment, you’ll have some revelations you must share with your partner. Share who you are and why you make the decisions you make. Having this honest dialogue with your spouse will definitely begin to break down the walls that sometimes exist in marriage.
Accept your spouse’s truth about themselves.
At the same time you’re making your personal assessment, your spouse should be doing the same. You should be able to listen attentively as your spouse shares what they’ve learned about themselves. You’ll more than likely learn something new that you can quickly apply to how you approach and interact with your spouse.
Tell your spouse how to love you.
With this step you can begin to ask for what you need. Of course it will make more sense to your spouse because you’ve already revealed your truth. Share how they can love you and your preferred communication style. You should also offer advice on what you need in the bedroom. Your spouse, I’m sure, wants to make sure they get it right in the intimacy department, so definitely share your turn ons and offs.
Finally, listen to your spouse’s share how to love him/her.
Ask questions and listen to what they need. Again, they would’ve already revealed their truth to you, so what you hear shouldn’t come as a surprise. Once you get that advice, adhere to it. If it’s important to your partner it must also become important to you.
Once again, you know you better than anyone else. When it comes to teaching people how to treat us we must first be ready to share why we desire to be treated that way in the first place. Giving advice to our spouse on how to love us and vice versa will only strengthen the connection and transform the marriage overall.
BMWK, if you could give your spouse advice how how to love you, what would you say?