This weekend my wife and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary by renting a country guest house on a small piece of land in Wimberley, TX. A few short weeks ago Wimberley was devastated by the recent floods that affected Oklahoma through Texas and left Houston underwater overnight. This weekend many of the residents simultaneously told us stories of disaster and triumph in the community. They were also very glad that things were finally starting to get back to normal and very gracious to host visitors again.
Our guest house was perfect. Wild Plum Cottage is situated about 10 mins outside of Wimberley on a beautiful piece of country land complete with a decades old tractor, live chickens, fire pit and Praline, the boisterous puppy of the property.
It was perfect.
During our decade together, I have tried to make my wife’s life an interesting one. Historically, I’ve been the breadwinner, but that could change at any time. I’ve allowed my career to take us from Houston to Florida to Atlanta and back to Texas. Changes of scenery keep life interesting. It’s amazing what a change of scenery can accomplish.
Everything has a price though. And the price for constantly changing states and addresses is the lack of stability. Relationships change. Jobs change. Careers change. Money is spent. Relocating isn’t cheap. Friendships are tested. Not everyone adapts to change well.
Prior to our weekend getaway, I told my wife we could do whatever we wanted that weekend – and that includes having any conversations we need to have. How many things go unsaid or unasked in a decade of matrimony?
Sometime past midnight during our second night at the cottage while laying in bed after a full day of Wimberley exploring, a great impromptu visit from family, and a delicious meal from the Leaning Pear, I asked my wife the question I wanted an honest answer to:
“Do you regret getting married to me?”
During the noticeable pause, she glowed in the candle light before she finally said, “No. I don’t regret it……………I would just go back and start our relationship differently. To avoid many of the issues we had when we started.”
This time I was noticeably silent. I was relieved she hadn’t said ‘yes,’ but I couldn’t ignore the pregnancy in her pause. Retrospect is 20/20 they say, and I’m glad that even looking back, she would be willing to do it all again. Because as we all know, like a good restaurant, that’s how you can tell the mark of a good relationship – knowing what you know now, would you go back and eat there again?
Even if my wife wanted to go back and try a different appetizer, I’m thrilled she decided to stick around for the entree. I’m a lucky man. She keeps life interesting.
I’ll ask her again in 10 years.
BMWK – do you and your spouse ever have courageous conversations?