One day, my husband and I got into a huge fight. A doors slamming, eye-rolling, wish-I-could-strangle-that-mofo type of fight.
As we continued to fight with no progress made toward a resolution, it was getting late. I was tired and wanted some space because I just emotionally drained.
I turned to him and said, “If you don’t mind, could you please sleep on the couch tonight. I need some space.”
Okay, CLEARLY I didn’t say that. I’ll keep it real. What I REALLY said was, “You’re sleeping on the couch tonight! I can’t stand to be around you right now so help me God!”
He just gave me the “yeah right” face and kept it moving toward the bedroom. Don’t you know this Negro had the audacity to ignore my direct orders? Not only did he sleep in the bed, but he hogged the comforter, too! We had a good laugh about it in the morning.
Inadvertently, through that fight, we learned a valuable lesson. Had he actually slept on the couch, we would’ve woken up, looked at each other and the simmering resentment would have been allowed to boil over. But instead, we were able to laugh at how silly we were being, which allowed us to diffuse the situation.
I’ve heard plenty of folks joke about the husband being “in the doghouse.” Some men seem to live there. Whether it’s sleeping on the couch or the wife refusing to partake in the marital bedroom activities, the doghouse can take on so many forms.
But when you “punish” someone, aren’t you implying that you can exert dominance over that person? That they need to learn their lesson, a lesson that you are imparting because you are the only one who knows better? If two people are truly equals, does sleeping on the couch really prove anything?
How do you handle disagreements in your relationship? Fellas, have you ever slept on the couch? Ladies, have you ever withheld the goodies?