We are approaching “that” holiday, yeah you know the one: Valentine’s Day! The main day devoted to ALL things romance!
No matter where you are in your affair repair, Valentine’s Day is not to be ignored.
Societal conditioning tells us that acts of love have to be grand gestures. However, I’d like to lovingly challenge you to rethink Valentine’s Day in respect to repairing your marriage after an affair… an act of love doesn’t have to always be a grand romantic gesture; it can be simple but profound and most of all impactful in this season of your marriage.
This Valentine’s Day is your opportunity to do something different to possibly win over & win back your spouse, your love, your…valentine!
Make this Valentine’s Day about TRUE L.O.V.E. by adding:
Laughter
Having a sense of humor is great for you and your spouse’s mood, health, and the marriage! Laughter is good medicine, literally. It has important physiological effects on you and your spouse.
Humor brings more than physiological benefits to a husband and wife. Humor helps us cope with the trivial but also with the tragedies like an affair.
Learn how to affair-proof your marriage from this day forward with our FREE eGuide – 3 Ways to Rebuild Your Marriage After an Affair
My husband & I love to attend comedy shows (hint hint) where we have heard comedians say things like, laughter is an “instant vacation,” or “You can’t stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh,” and “If you can find humor in anything, you can survive it.” These are all food for thought with a touch of truth, yes?
Studies have revealed that individuals who have a strong sense of humor are less likely to experience burnout and depression and they’re more likely to enjoy life in general — including their marriage!
Open-Mindedness
The way you react to a situation determines its outcome, and having an open mind can help you make the best out of repairing an affair.
Being open-minded is also about understanding the fact that your own ideas and beliefs may not be held by your spouse. Chances are you’ve found yourself in a situation where your beliefs conflict with your spouse. Open-minded spouses listen, reflect, and choose to calmly respond. As a compassionate and competent person, you should be able to listen to your spouse’s beliefs, even if you don’t completely agree. By being closed-minded, we can hinder much-needed growth from taking place in our marriages.
Remember that you don’t always have to be right—it’s hard, I know—but it is more important that you try to understand where your spouse is coming from and what makes your spouse think the way he/she does. If you do this, you can strengthen your own ideas and beliefs. It is also beneficial to see things from different perspectives.
Volunteering
There’s no denying that helping others in need makes the heart feel good. In fact, performing acts of kindness releases serotonin — a chemical in your brain that has major health benefits.
Instead of focusing on gifts this Valentine’s Day, focus on what you have to offer others together through your marital union. Being selfless will help reduce some of the stress brought on by an affair and increase your overall sense of well-being and fulfillment. Spending time together is important so volunteering provides spouses with a shared activity that both can enjoy while their marriage is becoming better based on this unifying experience.
Express Gratitude
Appreciating what you have is better than thinking too much on what you want. When you show appreciation for your spouse, your spouse becomes more valuable to you and deepens your sense of happiness and connection.
In my professional work as a coach, I hear examples every day of people who feel unappreciated and taken for granted by their spouse. Also, many people focus on what they do not have in their marriage versus what they do have.
Before you throw in the towel and give up, you may want to try one simple act; not only can it save your marriage, but it can make each partner feel more loved, valued, appreciated and happy: that’s right you guessed it…gratitude!
Learn how to affair-proof your marriage from this day forward with our FREE eGuide – 3 Ways to Rebuild Your Marriage After an Affair
Showing and verbalizing appreciation to your spouse is vital. If both husband and wife feel valued, needed, and loved by their spouse, the tendency to complain, nag, and argue which contributes to affairs will naturally decrease.
So, even if you do have disagreements, expressing gratefulness regularly can neutralize the problems associated with conflicts in marriage.
Love is not measured in bouquets of flowers or boxes of chocolate on Valentine’s Day, but in the smallest actions you take to express your L.O.V.E. for your spouse.
BMWK, How will you implement the l.o.v.e. on Valentine’s Day?