Last week I got to sit and chat with Jewel Tankard, reality TV Star of Thicker Than Water, and wife of Gospel Jazz musician, Ben Tankard. Check out the interview below as she talks about the show, marriage, how they deal with a blended family, and more!
BMWK: For those that may not be familiar with Thicker Than Water, can you share what the show is all about?
Jewell: We deal with real life family issues that I think are extremely relatable. We’ve all achieved success and are very strong believers in leadership development and becoming entrepreneurs, and pushing our children to become entrepreneurs. It doesn’t matter what economic, race or religious background you’re from. There are some things that are foundational for families period. That’s what’s made the show successful – we’ve been very transparent and authentic about some of the strongest challenges we’ve had.
It’s in your weakest moments that breathe a lot of strength and give hope to families at large that they’re not by themselves. There’s not a whole lot of differences between blended and biologic families, there are a lot of the same issues within both of those dynamics. We’ve been able to reach both. It’s very relatable, funny on a lot of levels, and there’s a lot of love. The lesson of the show is, family is family. You’re not by yourself, regardless of the differences.
BMWK: What are some tips you can share to those who are new to being in a blended family or working through challenges that come with blending your family together?
Jewell: It’s so important that you and your spouse get on the same page. Even with Ben and I, with all the challenges that we had when we first got married, he did a phenomenal job as a man, and as a husband really leading. He said, “First of all, we’re not doing the whole ‘step’ piece”. I think we worked really hard to build a strong unit. There were times, of course because we’re human beings, that it didn’t work out the way we wanted. But because we were on the same page, we were never really torn for the most part, about decisions we needed to make as far as the children were concerned. We talked about it before we got married.
BMWK: What has been the biggest challenge you’ve faced as a family and how did you get through it?
Jewell: It was probably when the children were growing up. We had different ideas than their biological mom, who loves them very much, in terms of how we should raise them. Sometimes we thought she gave too much freedom, and sometimes she thought we were too strict. It made it challenging when they came to our house when we tried to lay down certain ground rules, and they looked at us sideways.
BMWK: How do you juggle all of your obligations, and still remain as close as you are as a family?
Jewell: I definitely won’t act like we have the formula cause we’re figuring it out as we go. But it’s by the grace of God. Ben and I try to travel together at least 80-90% of the time. And then we both have home offices set up at the house so that really helps. As far as the children go, this week I was in DC with Cyrene. But in a couple days we’ll be in LA with Brooklyn. When we get back on Sunday, we’ll try to do a family dinner together. Then we have a family conference coming up in April at our church that all of our children will be speaking at. We may not be able to spend all the time with everyone at the same time because everyone is traveling, but we’ll work things out.
BMWK: So how many times have you been up to Howard since Cyrene’s been here?
Jewell: Oh I’ve been up there four times! She has to be on a gluten-free diet, and she ended up getting sick the last week and a half. So we got her back on her diet and a gluten-free chef in the house. I was trying to bring her home but she was like, “No mom, no way”. I just need her to be well and watch what she eats. She’s doing well though, I’m proud of her. It was another area of growth for her in doing what she needs to do, so she can stay at Howard.
BMWK: What advice can you share for those parents who might be dealing with separation anxiety with their children going off to college?
Jewell: You’re going to miss your children period. But I was also excited for her to go even though she’s the baby. She needed to go so she could grow and we could grow. So I would tell parents to get a life! Get a life! As much as I love my children, they are not my life. As a matter of fact, we travel more now than ever because I don’t have a highschooler at home that I need to be home with. I don’t have to rush back. I can go and do some things that I really want to do. Get more than a 9-5. Get involved with some extracurricular activities and re-discover those dreams you’ve put on hold.
BMWK: What can our readers expect to see on this season of Thicker Than Water?
Jewell: Ben’s CD just dropped and is already a #1 bestseller on Amazon. We’ll be celebrating 25 years of him being in the music industry. You’ll get an opportunity to see that celebration. You’ll see a family trip that is going to be more than funny! Y’all ain’t even ready! [Laughs] Listen, when we were taping, I almost peed on myself I was laughing so hard. I needed a break. So you’ll see that [Laugh].
BMWK: Any upcoming projects you want to share with our readers?
Jewell: I’m getting ready to launch the Jewel Tankard talk show near the end of March on the Impact Network (first AA Christian owned Network). Every time I talk about it, I’m going to cry because it’s been a dream of mine for a long time. God has been putting all the pieces together, so I’m excited. It’s going to be a hit, a mix of Ellen with the dancing and the fun, and also a Lifeclass element. We’ll be talking about fatherlessness, and the black family at large.
We’re talking about entrepreneurs, and not just about their successes. We’ll be talking about how many times did you guys meet with your mastermind team and you just went in circles and went nowhere? I think it’ll really inspire people to continue to run towards their dreams because successful people have all experienced failure. The more we can understand that dynamic, the more we’ll stay in the race and not be so quick to give up. And to also understand that your team can make you or break you, so you have to pray for your team and how to build one. It’s centered around faith, family and finances.
I’m also working on a national syndicated radio show, as well as the Millionaire’s Book Club which starts back up in September. The testimonials have been amazing!
Last but not least, we have a family conference coming up April 24-25. Two powerful days of teaching, and each of the children will be speaking. Find out more and register on JewellTankard.org.
If you haven’t had a chance to check out Thicker than Water, you can catch up on episodes, right here on Bravo.
BMWK: What inspires you about the black family at large, or what needs to be talked about more often as it relates to the black family?