I encounter quite a few individuals in committed relationships who are aware of their partner’s desires and yet still struggle to meet those needs. In most cases they have heard their spouse complain time and time again about what is missing in the relationship, and for some reason they wait until the breaking point has arrived before they decide to actually do something about it.
Deciding to act when the marriage is in trouble is almost arriving a little too late to the party. Occasionally, certain desires from the other partner aren’t taken seriously, other times we are just too concerned about our own needs getting met to ensure our spouse’s are taken care of also.
By the time our marriage is in trouble, and we realize how much it actually means to us, is when the majority of folks decide to take action to save it. There are usually a ton of excuses used to explain why the person isn’t able to meet their partner’s needs.
Justifying why you’re not willing to make your spouse happy causes confusion, frustration and regret. Couples must be proactive in the beginning by being aware of what is needed to maintain a marriage that honors both partners.
For the most part, we often know what our relationship is missing. For example, if your spouse complains about your poor communication skills, why wait until they are fed up to begin communicating effectively?
Or if it’s more sex and intimacy that your partner is requesting, it shouldn’t be withheld because you don’t think they are deserving of it. If there are challenges in the relationship preventing you from being fully present in your intimacy, discuss them immediately.
Repeating the same requests and feeling unfulfilled gets old real quick.
Sometimes the threat of divorce is enough to cause us to wake up, but it should never have to get to that point. We might not always realize how serious our partner is about receiving satisfaction in the relationship. We must remember, no one wants to be miserable in their relationship. Repeating the same requests and feeling unfulfilled gets old real quick.
Remember, the goal in your partnership is to create the best relationship possible for your partner, and vice versa. Do know that you are solely responsible for your own actions.
We are also mature enough to know when our behavior is not benefitting the relationship. When we know better, we do better. We have to stop pretending we don’t know better. There shouldn’t have to be a threat of divorce before we start making better choices in our marriage. It is exhausting to find yourself, in the eleventh hour, scrambling to do all the things you weren’t doing before.
Our partners usually give us some indication of what may be missing for them in the marriage. It is our responsibility to listen and respond, sooner rather than later.
BMWK, are there any requests your partner keeps making and what are you doing to ensure they are met?