When you got married, the minister may have decreed this statement, “…in sickness or in health, till death due you part.” But what if your marriage is actually causing your sickness?
By studying short spats between couples researchers can predict the development of health problems over 20 years.
Well, did you know heated arguments with your spouse can predict your future health? It can predict cardiovascular health, neck and back pain and then some. Honestly, I didn’t know this. I had no idea until I picked up a magazine at my parents’ house. An article in the magazine caught my attention, “Marital Spats a Pain in the Neck”.
The article talked about a study conducted by the University of California Berkeley and Northwestern University. The research provides evidence that marital spats affect your health.
By studying short spats between couples researchers can “predict the development of health problems over 20 years.” According to what I read in the article by Candy Sagon, husbands or wives who frequently have raging arguments are likely to develop cardiovascular issues to include high blood pressure. While those who stuff it and push down their emotions are prone to developing muscular challenges like pain in the neck or back.
Arguing builds tension, raises anxiety, increases anger and sadness. It pulls on almost every negative emotion we have. This can’t help but to breed stress, and we know stress can be a killer.
However, husbands and wives can eliminate much of this stress by improving communication skills and managing emotions in a healthy way.
I have three uncommon questions to help you do just that.
1. Ask yourself would you approve of someone talking to your son or daughter the way you talk to your mate?
If the answer is “no,” work on fixing your choice of words, tone and body language. The same protective instinct you have for your children, develop that between you and your mate.
2. Do you know the best way to calm yourself once you have been agitated?
If you don’t, try either of these three suggestions – (a) Calmly walk away and address the situation later. (b) Get a glass of water, and sip on it—this causes you to close your mouth and breathe. (c) Imagine this as the last moment you will ever see your spouse and these are the last words you will ever communicate.
3. If this were your boss, how would you respond?
Sadly to say, many employers get more respect and consideration than spouses. I believe this is because the risk of losing your temper with your boss carries a right now consequence that is directly tied to your money. In most cases, you need your job.
Well, more than your job, you need your spouse. And you need good health. Take the three suggestion given here and really give them a try. Just like you, I’m still working on me, so I constantly strive to do a better job at communicating with my husband.
BMWK, What is your key to better communication and better health?