Site icon BlackandMarriedWithKids.com

9 Marriage Tips for Single Women from a Happily Married Wife

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter
Marriage Tips for Single Women

I love talking relationships and marriage with my single friends. One of the things I value most is that we can be candid with one another. We share the truth about the realities of each of our experiences. As a Relationship Coach, I use my training, knowledge, and my own marriage experience to create outlets where I can provide marriage tips for single women. 

Marriage Tips for Single Women | Marriage Advice for Single Women

In this article: 

There are often misconceptions about the type of advice a married woman can provide to single women. People think we can’t relate or that our suggestions will be out of date and out of touch. I believe wisdom can come from anywhere. One important fact to remember is that the married woman was also single at some point and can still relate to relationship ups and downs. I challenge my single sisters to open their minds and hearts in order to have a real conversation about marriage and dating. Here are 9 marriage tips for single women from a happily married wife: 

Determine Your Relationship Goals

Not every single woman wants to become a wife. There are quite a few who are content with their life as it is and that is a great thing. Think about what you want for your future. Do you want to be married?  Do you see yourself in a committed relationship, building a future with someone? If your goal is to be married, what type of marriage do you want? Also consider what you are willing to contribute to a marriage like the one you want. 

Understand Your Why’s

If you have decided you do want to be married ask yourself why. What is it about marriage that makes you desire it? It is necessary to have an honest conversation with yourself about what you are looking for in a partner and why. If a potential mate has to be tall, dark, and handsome, ask yourself why? If they have to make six figures, again, ask yourself why. Be transparent about your responses and think about why what you want matters so much. You might discover some things don’t matter as much when you begin to break down the reasons you want them. 

Study the Marriages Around You

Include the healthy and the not-so-healthy relationships of your family and friends. Pay close attention to the consistent message those relationships send to the rest of the world. For the marriages you admire, think about what that couple does well. How does the wife show up? How do they support one another? What is the relationship quality you appreciate most about their marriage? For the marriages that make you wonder why that couple is even still together, think about what’s not working? How does the wife show up? Where could they be better? Before I became a Relationship Coach, I studied relationships and now I continue to do so. I have always been curious about what makes them strong and what causes them to fail. I have learned a great deal from just observing and you will too. 

Decide What Type of Wife You Will Be 

Early in my marriage I found myself still trying to figure this one out and it caused my husband and I a lot of unnecessary stress. Being a good wife did not come natural for me in the beginning and I really had to find my way. I had to spend some time reflecting on what wasn’t working for us and then spend some more time changing the things I didn’t like about how I was showing up. It’s so important to determine that early on, prior to marriage. Think about how you will respond when things don’t go your way and how you will still communicate effectively when you are angry. 

Be Realistic About Marrying Another Human

We are flawed and any potential mate is going to come with their own set of flaws. Can you handle them, for the rest of your life, is another question you will have to ask. For my own marriage, I decided that my husband’s love and support of me far outweighed the flaws he brought into our marriage. We are in a great place where we continue to support one another flaws and all. 

Take Notes of the Lessons Learned While Single

You are likely having some great and maybe some not so great experiences as a single woman. Take note of it all. You can use what you learn through these relationships to prepare you for marriage. Whether the relationship works or not, you stand to learn something about yourself. What you are willing to give and what you aren’t willing to take, are examples of some of the biggest takeaways from relationships past. Pay attention to who you were in the beginning, middle, and end of your previous relationships. Did you like what you noticed and if not, what can you change? 

Leave Your Baggage Behind

Start a new relationship with a fresh perspective and a clean slate. This is one of the most important marriage tips for single women. The new person isn’t the previous person and shouldn’t have to pay for those sins. If you move on, really move on. Show up ready to begin again and spend time getting to know your new partner for who they are and not who you think they might become. 

Pay Attention to Who’s In Front of You

Another one of my marriage tips for single women is to simply pay attention. My husband and I met when were teenagers and I would have never guessed that so many years later we would be married. He was the kind of guy you married, but of course when we met, marriage wasn’t on my radar. I am happy he was just ending a relationship when he and I finally reconnected. Our love story continued. Your Mr. Right could also be in your midst. Keep your eyes open and pay attention to who you have in your life right now that could be the person you have been searching for all this time. 

Become the Greatest Version of Yourself

When the time comes to settle down you want to make sure you have done the work. My own personal development never stops. I am always looking for ways to be a better me. When I didn’t like how I was communicating in my relationship I read books and listened to marriage advice from those I trusted and made some improvements. When I noticed I was playing small and not speaking up, again I sought resources to help me be better. This is the perfect time for you to recognize who you are now and compare it to who you want to be. What you don’t like, you change. What you love, continue loving it and know that it will be an added benefit to any relationship you commit yourself to. Believe me, your future partner will be grateful for how much you prepared for your marriage in advance. 

 

BMWK, what marriage tips for single women or advice have you received from your happily married friends? 

Up Next: How to Avoid Infidelity or an “Entanglement” Situation When You and Your Spouse Need a Break

 

Exit mobile version