About a decade ago my brother moved in with his fiance. It was largely an attempt to save money before the wedding, but the idea of two Christians living together without first tying the knot raised some eyebrows.
Fast forward to 2012 and the practice of cohabitation before saying “I do” has become commonplace, even among the religious set. In fact, experts estimate that between 50% to 60% of couples live together before walking down the aisle.
And it’s difficult to blame them. In the middle of a severe recession, why pay for two households when you only have to pay for one? With the average rent for a decent one bedroom apartment in many cities surpassing the $1,000 mark, it makes sense to save a huge chunk of change by splitting the rent, not to mention the automatic 50% discount on heating, lighting, and cable bills. And the savings can be used to pay down credit card debt, save for the wedding, or build a down payment for a home.
Not only does living together before the wedding seem downright smart, many argue it’s the best way to decide if two people are truly compatible enough for marriage. “You’d test drive a car wouldn’t you, why not a marriage?” they argue. It can be a time to work out the quirks before the commitment is set in stone. Better to realize you can’t live together before the wedding than after, some assert.
But with all that said, is living together before the wedding bells ring all that it’s cracked up to be?
Is there really such a thing as a test drive for a marriage as some suggest? The simple fact that you can walk away instead of working out problems in effect makes cohabitation fundamentally different than marriage.
And what at first seems like a financially savvy move, can become financially perilous if the relationship ends. Unlike marriage, there are few legal protections that prevent one party from taking advantage of another after splitsville. Are you likely to get stiffed if a partner bails and you have the rent, utilities or cable in your name?
BMWK, What’s your opinion? Did you and your spouse live together before walking down the aisle? Is living together before the wedding a financially savvy move or recipe for disaster?