“In a nation that was proud of hard work, strong families, close-knit communities, and our faith in God, too many of us now tend to worship self-indulgence and consumption. Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns. But we’ve discovered that owning things and consuming things does not satisfy our longing for meaning. We’ve learned that piling up material goods cannot fill the emptiness of lives which have no confidence or purpose.”
– President Jimmy Carter, 1979
While I can barely remember Jimmy Carter, I have to admit his words were a warning shot that still rings clear today. Carter implored Americans to look in the mirror, engage in self-reflection, and take some responsibility for the ills that affected the nation at the time.
Apparently his advice fell on deaf ears. Carter was soundly defeated by Ronald Reagan, the brash-talking Republican who ushered in the “Greed is Good” 80s, the age of yuppies, bimmers (BMWs), and grandiose self-indulgence.
Fast forward 30 years and we’re bombarded with the likes of Nene Leakes, boasting to Sheree Whitfield, “While you were running your mouth, I was running to the bank depositing a Trump check! I’m rich, b*tch!”
One has to wonder what psychological forces drive Nene to brag about paying for cars with cash and drop hints about purchasing million dollar Miami mansions?
Is it a sense of worthlessness that needs masking with grandiose displays of wealth? Perhaps it’s a dark history of abuse? We’ll never know. But truth be told, we all hold deep-seeded beliefs that cause us to misbehave when it comes to money.
Mine came in the form of measuring my accumulation (or more properly, lack of accumulation) of assets against my peers. My spending decisions were driven by a subconscious attempt to keep pace with my friends and colleagues.
Noted author Susan Fales-Hill was a prominent socialite who attended thousand dollar black-tie events. Her spending passion was Chanel, Gucci, and Elie Saab. Then the economy came crashing down. She tells Essence magazine, “…as much as I loved beautiful clothing and accessories, for years I had abused them the way others in my family used alcohol: to mask feelings of inadequacy.”
With the New Year approaching many of us will resolve to make 2012 the year in which we get our finances together. But inevitably, most financial resolutions (and weight loss, health, and relationship resolutions for that matter) are doomed to fail because they deal with our problems on only the most superficial of levels. Even the best intentioned resolutions are undone by the psychological demons that drive our spending. Maybe it’s the constant childhood reminders that “you’ll never amount to anything” sting to this very day. High-priced toys and purchases act as the soothing elixir.
Does the childhood stigma of hand-me-downs and off-brand sneakers still burn, driving you toward a high maintenance lifestyle?
Perhaps you promised yourself that you’d never let your kids experience the poverty you did so you lavish them with gadgets, toys, and other expensive gifts.
Like Ms. Fales-Hill are you masking your feelings of inadequacy or hurt with spending?
Or perhaps, as Carter once lamented, you’ve become brainwashed by a consumer culture where human identity is defined by what we own and not by what we do?
The days before the coming New Year offer the perfect opportunity for the type of self-reflection Jimmy Carter once advocated three decades ago. Use it to unmask the underlying beliefs that drive your spending. Once you address the psychological forces that direct your behavior with money, you’ll pave the way for your best year ever. Get your mind right and financial peace will follow.
BMWK, what are the hidden money demons that drive your spending?