“In a nation that was proud of hard work, strong families, close-knit communities, and our faith in God, too many of us now tend to worship self-indulgence and consumption. Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns. But we’ve discovered that owning things and consuming things does not satisfy our longing for meaning. We’ve learned that piling up material goods cannot fill the emptiness of lives which have no confidence or purpose.”
– President Jimmy Carter, 1979
While I can barely remember Jimmy Carter, I have to admit his words were a warning shot that still rings clear today. Carter implored Americans to look in the mirror, engage in self-reflection, and take some responsibility for the ills that affected the nation at the time.
Apparently his advice fell on deaf ears. Carter was soundly defeated by Ronald Reagan, the brash-talking Republican who ushered in the “Greed is Good” 80s, the age of yuppies, bimmers (BMWs), and grandiose self-indulgence.
Fast forward 30 years and we’re bombarded with the likes of Nene Leakes, boasting to Sheree Whitfield, “While you were running your mouth, I was running to the bank depositing a Trump check! I’m rich, b*tch!”
One has to wonder what psychological forces drive Nene to brag about paying for cars with cash and drop hints about purchasing million dollar Miami mansions?
Is it a sense of worthlessness that needs masking with grandiose displays of wealth? Perhaps it’s a dark history of abuse? We’ll never know. But truth be told, we all hold deep-seeded beliefs that cause us to misbehave when it comes to money.
Mine came in the form of measuring my accumulation (or more properly, lack of accumulation) of assets against my peers. My spending decisions were driven by a subconscious attempt to keep pace with my friends and colleagues.
Noted author Susan Fales-Hill was a prominent socialite who attended thousand dollar black-tie events. Her spending passion was Chanel, Gucci, and Elie Saab. Then the economy came crashing down. She tells Essence magazine, “…as much as I loved beautiful clothing and accessories, for years I had abused them the way others in my family used alcohol: to mask feelings of inadequacy.”
With the New Year approaching many of us will resolve to make 2012 the year in which we get our finances together. But inevitably, most financial resolutions (and weight loss, health, and relationship resolutions for that matter) are doomed to fail because they deal with our problems on only the most superficial of levels. Even the best intentioned resolutions are undone by the psychological demons that drive our spending. Maybe it’s the constant childhood reminders that “you’ll never amount to anything” sting to this very day. High-priced toys and purchases act as the soothing elixir.
Does the childhood stigma of hand-me-downs and off-brand sneakers still burn, driving you toward a high maintenance lifestyle?
Perhaps you promised yourself that you’d never let your kids experience the poverty you did so you lavish them with gadgets, toys, and other expensive gifts.
Like Ms. Fales-Hill are you masking your feelings of inadequacy or hurt with spending?
Or perhaps, as Carter once lamented, you’ve become brainwashed by a consumer culture where human identity is defined by what we own and not by what we do?
The days before the coming New Year offer the perfect opportunity for the type of self-reflection Jimmy Carter once advocated three decades ago. Use it to unmask the underlying beliefs that drive your spending. Once you address the psychological forces that direct your behavior with money, you’ll pave the way for your best year ever. Get your mind right and financial peace will follow.
BMWK, what are the hidden money demons that drive your spending?
NewlywedJ says
My problem is I like to eat out. When I looked at my bank statement many moons ago, it showed that I spent more on food and drink at restaurants than my rent contribution. In fact it was more than my total rent. It was a shock. It was eye-opening. Then I went right back to spending as usual. I have not used that bank feature again. In fact, I don’t look at my statements at all. I like going out with friends. My thinking is “there is nothing going on at home…let’s go out!” Maybe it boils down to me being lonely. Maybe it boils down to boredom. Either way, it is boiling down my pockets too. ::sigh::
Alonzo says
I know what you mean about eating out. I think a lot of us have trouble with it especially when it’s so convenient. But I try to let the dollars drive my decisions. One thing I try to do is put a yearly price tag on my eating out. When I see that I’ll be spending over $9,000 a year on fast food (about $25 a day x 365 days) it helps reduce the number of trips. Placing the yearly figure somewhere prominent, (like your wallet or posted to your dresser mirror) sometimes helps.
But still it’s a struggle.
Michelle Cameron says
My wake-up call on eating out too often was when my son stopped desiring home-cooked meals. Since then I’ve cut back tremendously on eating out (doing it only when absolutely necessary) so I will have more money to go to the store for healthier options. I still struggle (and juggle) in other areas, as the cost of living in my state is very high. Praying for a better way to manage my lifestyle.
Lorraine Brown says
I agree with this wholeheartedly, we have to stop defining our worth by possessions. Its not how much you make, but rather how you choose to spend…besides your necessary household utilities, bank the remaining amount, stop spending your money on items that depreciate and/or have no value such as the new jordans for your 10 yr old (smh). Invest in yourself and your future, become an entrepreneur ,I can show you how, look me up at lorrainebrown.acnibo.com