The other day I had a “bridal breakdown”. Mind if I vent a bit… Thanks.
Being engaged is supposed to be one of the best seasons of my life, but it’s not. I can not stress enough that planning a wedding is hard and expensive. Especially when you quit your job last September. Yep, I took a huge leap of faith by quitting my 9-5, and entered the world of independent work. However, my job did call me back (go figure), but I’m working part-time now. If I ever wondered why people sometimes choose to move back home while planning a wedding, I wonder no more. Life doesn’t stop just because your fairytale dreams have come true. Nope. The reality of rent, utilities, groceries, etc. brings you back. REAL. QUICK.
The “Will I Fit into My Dress” Blues
On top of that, the happy weight I gained while dating my fiancé, is now the thorn in my side. I am currently the heaviest I’ve ever been in my whole life. I’ve waited too long, to be uncomfortable in my own skin on what’s scheduled to be the happiest day of my life. I’ve been working out and eating clean. I even lost a few pounds. However, who wants to deal with the stress of messing up EVERY SINGLE DAY. Sometimes I just want to eat a few cheeseburgers and find peace in being a out of shape bride. Meh.
The “Family Stress” Blues
Also, are you guys aware that sometimes weddings can bring out the WORSE in your family? It happened to me. There was confusion about who was invited to my surprise engagement. Confusion about me incorporating my biological father and stepfather with walking me down the aisle. Confusion about my mother being TOO excited about my wedding (as if she shouldn’t be). Meanwhile, I’m like “this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life, group hug?” Smh. Talk about unnecessary stress.
The “Don’t Go Over Our Budget” Blues
Needless to say, I guess everything just came to a head the other day, and I found myself asking my fiancé if we should cancel our reception. I couldn’t help but wonder if we bit off more than we can chew. Especially seeing that we got engaged in January and now it’s May. I officially have learned my first lesson in “time waits for no one”, especially when you have a deadline and no budget. Fix it Jesus.
Get Over the Blues and Put Things into Perspective
Well, once again, my fiancé rose to the occasion of my “bridal breakdown” and encouraged me to not forget how far we’ve come. I have a dress. Although currently it’s too small for me, I still have a wedding dress that my father graciously paid for. I have shoes. We have a church. The reception is at the place of my choice, and it’s looking like we’re going to Jamaica for our honeymoon. Just because everything isn’t quite paid in full yet, we’re actively working towards our goals and seeing God open doors during the process. I guess the long list of what needs to be done, caused me to lose focus of what’s already done.
Bridal blues, it’s real I tell ya. But, I’m determined to take heed to my Aunty’s wise words and enjoy the process. I plan for this to be my first and ONLY marriage. I’ll never experience this moment again. So starting now I choose to relish in being a bride who doesn’t have it all together and that’s perfectly fine. But one thing’s for sure; September 06, 2014 will be perfect.