No One is Perfect: Interview with Sarah Jakes about Her New Book

Sarah Jakes, the daughter of the renowned mega-church pastor and world preacher Bishop T.D. Jakes, has written a courageous memoir about her experiences growing up “Jakes.” In her new book Lost and Found: Finding Hope in the Detours of Life which released on April 1st, Sarah takes readers on a journey through some of the most difficult seasons in her life: from teenage pregnancy, college dropout and strip club waitress, to divorced single mother turned inspirational blogger, author, and speaker.

A mixture of grit and gospel, “Lost and Found” has something for everyone, from the every Sunday go-to-meeting believer to the Easter/Mother’s Day pew warmer. This coming of age and coming to Christ story gives readers permission to be less judgmental and more forgiving of themselves and of others.

Before diving into the book, I will warn you that because the narrative reads so effortlessly, you’ll probably wish for less commentary in favor of a more seamless retelling of events. Nonetheless, you’ll be finished reading the book before you know it and eager to share it with a friend or church group.

Recently, I had the opportunity to speak with Sarah about Lost and Found and the hopes she has for its impact in the church and beyond.

BMWK: Why share your story with the world now?

Sarah: I started writing my blog about 3 years ago. Started writing from my own frustrations really within my marriage and the church because I thought I had the type of marriage that church said would make me happy. But because I didn’t start off with the key foundation, I was frustrated and experienced a lot of heartache and infidelity, and so I just wanted to put those emotions into words. As I continued to blog, I was really convicted to share my story authentically, especially after I made the decision to divorce. I felt like if they were moved and inspired by my life in the church and having my son at 14 years old, that I could take some of the pain that resulted in my marriage to help other women.

BMWK: In your hopes to help other women, what, in particular, do you want young woman to know?

Sarah: One of the most challenging things for me to learn and I wish someone would have told me was it’s a process. We are on fire for God on Sundays and see all of these people worshiping and wonder how did they get there. How did they get that dedication and devotion to God because I have it on Sundays but I don’t have it on other days. If I could tell young girls anything is that it’s a process and that we search for God in everything. It’s a decision and doesn’t just happen. No matter how easy it looks for the person beside you, we all have our own struggles and battles as we strive to hold onto God.

BMWK: When you reflect on your relationship with your parents, what lessons are you most grateful for? 

Sarah: My father always said “I’ve never seen love lose a fight.” Him teaching me that lesson has helped me grow tremendously even as I strive to love myself and parent my children and sow seeds into them. If the heart of it is pure and you do it out of love, you won’t lose. It doesn’t mean it won’t be difficult, but you won’t lose. And I see that exhibited in all that [my parents] do, and I cherish that lesson above all.

BMWK: Readers can tell that you have a special relationship with your mother. As Mother’s Day approaches, what is something you would like to share about her?

Sarah: I always tried to figure out what made my mother so special because everyone we meet is always so drawn to her. I realized that she is so committed to being herself, in any phase of life. She is the same person consistently. When she looks at you it’s like she’s looking right into your soul. She is so authentic herself; she demands authenticity from everyone she’s around. She’s my friend.

BMWK: It’s clear from your memoir that you experienced a lot of church hurt but are healing from that and finding your place and voice in the church world. How do you recommend people deal with “church hurt”?

Sarah: Yes, I’ve battled myself with church hurt. I think that we make the people our god instead of the bridge that allows us to access God. We have a responsibility to not deify them, and [we have to] give them the ability to be human and to disappoint us and mess up without pushing us further from God.

BMWK: What is your hope for the impact your book will have on the institution of the church and on how we interact in church?

Sarah: I have incredible hopes for the book in church. I want people to see that one of the most respected leaders within the church had a daughter who had her own struggles. Life doesn’t spare anyone, and we have to learn to be more grace-filled when people approach us and are empty. I think we judge people until they are one of us, and then we are shocked when those among us have a problem too.

BMWK: What are you hoping people are going to get from “Lost and Found”?

Sarah: I hope that they see themselves even in the challenges. That is what made me so nervous about “Lost and Found.” I don’t want them to read it and see me, even though my scars are on display. I want [the book] to be a mirror. I want them to see themselves and then wonder what [are they] hiding, what do [they] have buried that [they] haven’t fully forgiven yet.

No one is perfect: from the pulpit to the pew, we all need the space and grace to grow into who God has created us to be.

Sarah’s story, like all of ours, testifies to the fact that no one is perfect: from the pulpit to the pew, we all need the space and grace to grow into who God has created us to be. To learn about Sarah Jakes and to purchase her book, visit SarahJakes.com.

BMWK family, share your thoughts with Sarah about her decision to share her story and struggles in the church with the world.