Now, I know what you’re probably thinking. How in the world could you possibly think that your son/daughter will remain a virgin until marriage? Well, the answer to that is, I don’t know. I simply do not. What I DO know is that children absorb and feed off of what you say to them and how you live your life. They also know at an early age, what’s important to you as parents: grades, education, religion, material things, etc. So, TEACHING and STRESSING that it’s really important for them to wait is no different than you stressing the importance of not texting while driving. Think about it. The bottom line is that you can’t live your life a certain way and spring this type of thing on them. There has to be an undertone that this is an expectation and that it should be an internal desire to do what is right.
I know a lot of people might feel like it’s completely and utterly absurd to try and stress the importance of abstinence or waiting until marriage to have sex. Well, if that’s how you feel, you have every right. We all have our own opinions of how we should raise our children. And, yes, even in this fast-moving, hyper-sexual, “everything at your fingertips” day and age, I still have my reasons why I’m teaching abstinence to my teenager. Here are 3 of them:
Christianity
One of the reasons why I’m teaching abstinence is, it reinforces the importance of our faith and Christian values. Before you start having these types of sex talks, you probably should have been having other types of talks to your children like, “It’s actually OK to stand out.” “Your Christian walk will make things harder for you than others.” “The road to salvation is always the lesser traveled one.” You get the point. So, by the time you’re ready to have these talks, its actually only a bit of reinforcement of what is being taught all the while.
They are not alone
Another reason why I’m teaching abstinence is, I’m trying to lay the foundation for our growing young adults to have a conscience. I need them to know that it’s important to wait because there are other young people out their who share the same values and beliefs as they do!
The Gift that Keeps on Giving
I feel that they need to know that with premarital sex comes a lot of responsibilities. Issues like unplanned pregnancies, premature parenthood and tough decisions about the future are just a few. Don’t forget about the life-threatening sexually transmitted diseases for which there are no cures. We all want what’s best for our kids and basically – ain’t nobody got time for that!
Let’s be real. I can preach this ’til I’m blue in the face, if they wanna do it…they’re gonna do it. I at least want my teenage children to know emphatically and whole-heartedly that it’s wrong. As their parent, I also accept the harsh reality that I have to teach the importance of safe sex. I don’t have to condone it, but I DO have to teach them be responsible and SAFE!
I’m not living with my head in the sand. I have looked at my son’s phone (which I do randomly) and some of the things that showed up in his social media timeline(s) BLEW MY MIND!! Some things that are out there for the world to see…Just ridiculous! Like I stated earlier, I’m blessed that my son and I have open communication about what’s important to him and how much his values and beliefs really mean, despite peer pressure. As a parent, if I want my [hormonal] teenager to wait, I need to encourage him/her to make this just as important to him/herself, as well as ways to keep their idle minds from the temptations of the world, that’s so easily accessible. It’s an extremely tough job, but I’m up for the challenge.
BMWK – Do you think it’ still possible to teach abstinence?