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Tears, Puke, and Poop – My Love Hate Relationship with Being a Dad

“Kinsley, I love you dearly from about 8am-11pm.  But after that, you are not my favorite person.” Yup that’s the conversation I had with my 2 month old as we sat on the couch watching TV together.

I can’t lie.  Over the last few days, I’ve been highly frustrated with this little girl of mine.  But it’s such a growing process for me. I’m so used to being able to control things and this child of mine is my biggest challenge yet. Here are a few things driving me crazy at the moment!

1) The crying

I’m sure many fathers can agree that this is probably the hardest part of having a new baby.  As men, we usually want to “fix things,” but I’m learning very quickly that sometimes you can’t “fix” a baby’s crying.

I’ve fed her, changed her diaper, and I’m even holding her, so why on earth is she screaming like she is dying? Yeah and the whole pacifier thing…she just seems to spit it right back at me when she’s in the crying zone.

Geesh y’all pray for me! Oh, and to add insult to injury, her mom handles it so calmly and lovingly like it doesn’t bother at all.

Woosahhhhh Troy, Woosahhhh!

2) The throwing up

If this little girl throws up on one more of my good, clean shirts, we are going to have some problems. I love playing with her and holding her but, for some reason, she believes that is an invitation to vomit on me 75% of the time. I’m thinking I need to be the one wearing the bib and not her.

3) The diaper changing

Okay, so is it just me or do babies just wait until you’ve spent the most time trying to dress them all cute to then decide to blow their entire diaper up?

It’s as if they just sit there like “…wait for it, wait for it,” last button snapped “now GO!” Oh and I swear the other day I changed 5 diapers in 5 minutes. I’m thinking, “Little girl can you please finish the first time?!”

I’m sure many of you have gone through the same growing pains as parents. Well here are 3 of the things that get me through them.

1) The Smile

As frustrated as I am getting with certain aspects of fathering, it all seems to be worth it when Kinsley hits me with that rare but heart-warming smile (I said rare because my baby mean mugs more than she smiles y’all).

She looks up at me with those big ole eyes and smiles and then I forget how mad I was about her crying for the past three hours.

2) The Love

I said in my first article, Dear Daughter, that I never knew love like this, and it’s true. I’m learning patience at a high level, and, though I get frustrated when things don’t go the way I want them to, I still feel the love.

3) The Future

I can only hope that if I endure this season with my little one I will hopefully be able to watch her grow into a great woman doing great things.

If I can deal with a little crying, I’ll get to see a lot of joy and if I can change a few diapers now maybe she will change a few of mine later in my old age. I don’t know what the future holds for her or for me but I’m sure it will make the frustrations worth it.

The truth is that I’m enjoying the journey and while it’s only been two months I’ve accepted that my life has changed forever and for the better. I’m being stretched and softened…I’m okay with that.

BMWK, are you enjoying your role as a parent?

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