I couldn’t imagine the struggle my husband and I would have experienced had my family and his family not approved of our relationship.
I am a pretty good-natured person, so I find it easy to build relationships and get along with all types of personalities. I have the patience and temperament needed to make all of my relationships a little bit easier than most. From the moment I met my future in-laws, I knew we would have great relationships. We have a common bond; we all love my husband, so why wouldn’t we get along? And my family was the exact same way. My family’s rule is that I am always treated with love and respect and that I am happy. If those requirements are met, there shouldn’t be any problems.
Unfortunately, there are so many horror stories regarding in-laws and the constant battle that ensues. I never quite understood that. It always seemed like when those challenges did occur it was somehow about proving who was most important in the spouse’s eye, their family or the new spouse. I think what worked for us is that both of our families were willing to make room for each of us to join. It was never about losing the loved one to someone else, but always about adding that new someone to the family.
I am so grateful that my family approved of my spouse, not that I wouldn’t have still gone through with it if they didn’t, it just would have made our life a little more challenging. It is always easier when we all can get along. Because of the love I have for my man, I am willing to sacrifice and work harder, whenever needed, to make sure he is happy. He does the same in return.
If you happen to be one of the many who struggle with in-laws, keep these ideas in mind:
“¢ You all love your spouse.
“¢ The in-laws are looking for the reasons you’re worthy of their loved one. Allow them to experience the person your spouse did.
“¢ The relationship will reflect the amount of effort you contribute.
“¢ If you act as the peace maker your conscience is clear.
“¢ Your spouse is the one caught in the middle and made to feel uncomfortable.
“¢ Your spouse may have resentment if you make them choose between you and their family.
I know it’s not always easy when we are creating a new family and building new traditions. And when the family doesn’t immediately offer their approval it makes it all the more difficult. But when we married our spouses, we knew a family came along with them. It might not be the family we preferred to be a part of, but it is the one we ended up with. We have to be willing to do whatever is necessary to make it work.