Dear Dr. Buckingham,
I have been dating this guy off and on 8 years and have always believed that love could conquer all. We have had our ups and downs over the years, but I have never stopped loving him. Despite how much that he tells me that he loves me, he continues to hurt me. How can a man hurt me so much if he loves me?
Sincerely, Cathy
Dear Cathy,
You must realize that love in and of itself is not enough to prevent a man from hurting you. Human beings were created out of love to love, but we allow our emotions to distort that love. I suggest that you look at the intent of a man’s heart. I have learned that good-hearted men say and do bad things when their feelings are hurt. As a result, you should try to pay close attention to a man’s underlying motives. If you detect that he is hurting you because he lacks insight as to how to express his emotions appropriately; provide support, guidance and pray. Basically, you should stick with him. If you detect that he is deliberately hurting you to be spiteful, you should seek professional help if warranted, provide support, guidance and also pray. If the deliberate behavior continues, you should simply remove yourself from the relationship. Love does hurt occasionally, but not intentionally.
Love does hurt occasionally, but not intentionally.
Good luck, Dr. Buckingham
Disclaimer: The ideas, opinions and recommendations contained in this post are not intended as a substitute for seeking professional counseling or guidance. Any concerns or questions that you have about relationships or any other source of potential distress should be discussed with a professional, in person. The author is not liable or responsible for any personal or relational distress, loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or recommendations in this post