Let’s face it, the job market is not what it used to be. No longer is a high school education enough to set you up for life. In the global economy, today’s youth are vying with peers from Shanghai, Mumbai, and Jakarta in the competition for jobs.
Because of this, academic success is more important than ever. But just how far should parents go to encourage their kids to do well in school? Should we provide incentives or money to encourage little Tyler, Charles, or Aisha to hit the books?
In her book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Yale Law School professor and self-professed “Tiger Mom” Amy Chua argues that Western parents “baby” their kids. Few parents, in her opinion, lack the stamina needed to make their kids study and put in the work needed to become successful.
Her disdain for Western parenting practices practically leaps from the pages. She would never pay her kids for academic excellence. Why should you have to bargain with kids to make them study, they’re kids after all. Why pay them for something they’re expected to do?
I may not agree with some of Chua’s parenting techniques. I, for one, would never forbid my kids from attending sleepovers, prohibit their performance in school plays, or force them to practice the violin for hours upon end, even during vacations.
But she may have a point when she claims:
“What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you’re good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up.”
Academic success should become its own reward and provide the internal sense of satisfaction that money can’t match.
Yet, what may work for the Tiger Mom, may not work for the rest of us. What parent hasn’t faced the challenge of an under-performing child and considered paying up for good grades?
Heck, even whole school districts have experimented with idea. New York, Dallas, Chicago, and Washington DC have all dabbled with passing out monetary rewards to kids who’ve aced exams, read books, or achieved a high level of school attendance.
The results have been mixed. In Chicago, paying kids for good grades did not raise standardized test scores, but in Dallas, paying second graders to read books brought about dramatic increases in their reading comprehension scores.
Many dismiss the idea of paying kids for academic performance, arguing that it teaches kids that effort and success always have a price tag attached?
But in some ways, isn’t this exactly how the real world works?
Doesn’t the real world pay for performance? Adults get compensated for effort and success all the time. Pay raises and bonuses are the rewards for success in the workplace. Fail to show up at work or slack off and surprise – no paycheck and a pink slip to the unemployment office to boot.
BMWK, so where do you weigh in on the debate? Should you pay your kids to get good grades? Should we have to pay for what’s naturally expected of them? If money is not the answer, what is the best way to get our kids to achieve?