Boundaries in dating relationships are very key to its overall health and progression. Remembering the why of the relationship will help keep you from making decisions together that you may later regret.
Dating is for the purpose of getting to know one another in order to assess the potential for marriage. When you step outside of that purpose then it is easy to become selfish with your desires and lose control of your moral compass.
We all have flesh that desires things that are not good for us at that given time. It is then we must put into practice one of the most challenging actions. That action is self-control.
Self control by definition is the ability to control one’s emotions, behavior, and desires in the face of external demands.
We can even find the Word of God encouraging us on the power of having self control. 1 Thessalonians 4:4, “That each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.
This is why boundaries in dating relationships are so important because it helps build the muscle of self control. Let me remind you that even after you get married, self control will be a muscle you want to remain strong.
Here are 3 boundaries you want to have in place in a dating relationship.
Communication Boundaries
The reality is, just as your hands can get you in trouble, your words can do just as much damage. Things communicated pre-maturely can take the relationship into a whole new dimension very quickly before you or your significant other is ready.
Learning how to have boundaries on what you talk about is very important. For example, conversing about what you want to name your kids in the beginning of the relationship can pre-maturely have you beginning to dream about what it would be like to have each other’s kids. Communication boundaries are very important for healthy progression of the relationship.
Time Boundaries
Yes, it is very possible to spend too much time together in a dating relationship. You want to be careful not to act like you’re married before you get married.
Time boundaries are important in order to not set yourself up for temptation. You should have certain times where you agree not to be alone together. That can be super early in the morning, or super late at night.
It is good for you and your significant other to establish these boundaries before you get serious. This will make sure you both are on the same page and value each other’s convictions.
Physical Boundaries
Soul ties are one of the most common reasons people have a hard time ending a relationship that they know is unhealthy. Once your soul has become tied to that person it is hard to let go, no matter how destructive the relationship may be to you and your future.
Most soul ties come from sexual activity. I am not only referring to intercourse. My wife and I agreed during our dating relationship that we would not share our first kiss until after we got engaged.
This helped us to stay focused on the things that mattered most, and also to guard each others hearts. We were thinking with the end in mind. If the end was marriage, then we would be able to do all of the kissing we want. If the end didn’t result in marriage then we would be able to go our separate ways without any hard feelings or regret.
I encourage you to set boundaries for your relationships in order to guard them against fleshly desires taking control and hijacking the relationship for the worse. God desires for you to have a healthy relationship that helps to build you up not tear you down.
BMWK, what boundaries do you have, or need to put, in place?