For a long time, celibacy was seen as a thing for nuns and priests, you know, people of the cloth. Anyone outside of these life choices was viewed as having a few screws loose if they opted to join this club. So, here you are. You’ve decided to become celibate. But now you’re catching flack from everybody and their mama!
You hear things like:
- “You’re crazy.”
- “There is no way you’ll be able to do that.”
- “What does your man think about it?”
- “Just wait ’til the mood hits you, then talk.”
It won’t be the first time you will be faced with self doubt. And you will feel, on a daily basis, as if you are fighting an uphill battle. On some days, the challenge will be internal. Staying true to your vow of celibacy will seem an impossible task. Every man will look fine. Every prayer will sound hollow. On other days, the challenge will be external. You’ll be asked out on a date every hour, on the hour, seven days a week. And they’ll all look like Denzel. All of them.
So, what’s a girl to do? When the naysayers attack and you’re not sure if you can trust your decision, arm yourself with these 3 important keys to successfully conquer your season of celibacy:
Remind Yourself Why You Made This Decision
Okay. Go ahead and pull out all of your research. What were your reasons for making this decision? Are you a Christian? Was it for health reasons? You just don’t think you’re ready for sex? You just want to save yourself for marriage?
Whatever the reasons, you did the research. So now is the time to strengthen your resolve. Journal your experience daily. On the harder days, find the entries where you were celibate strong and get inspired. On the easier days, thank God and keep on growing. Come what may, submit your fears to your greater purpose and stand firm in your convictions. This mindset will serve you well beyond your single and celibate days.
Surround Yourself With Friends Who Share Your Values and Convictions
Well, you don’t get to choose your family, but you do get to choose your friends. Ditch the ones who don’t have your back and find and befriend those who will champion your goals. There are many people out there who will support you. In fact, you may be surprised at just how many.
And you may also be surprised that you can become an influencer in the process. In fact, there may be some people on the fence who may come over to the purity side of life because of your example.
While it’s true that celibacy is ultimately a solo journey, having the right people in your corner to talk you off the ledge when the going gets tough is definitely a plus.
Believe You Can Do It
No matter how hard you are hit with negativity, you must believe that you can joyfully champion your season of celibacy. In life, celibacy will be a challenge. But, chances are, it won’t be your greatest. Personally, it prepared me for some doozies. And, aside from trusting God, it taught me to trust myself.
- I learned that I was stronger than I thought.
- I learned to love myself even more.
- I learned that sex wasn’t the most rewarding part of a relationship.
- I learned that if I upheld my commitment to celibacy, I could overcome just about anything.
So, when you begin to question your ability to survive a season of celibacy, remind yourself why you started, make friends who will share your convictions, and believe in yourself!
BMWK, how else can you stay true to your vow of celibacy?