By: Niki Brown
Have you ever noticed that your relationships seem to keep going through the same cycles? Perhaps you meet someone and it begins well, but ends with you being hurt, frustrated, or disappointed in the outcome.
Perhaps you’ve had more than your share of drama-filled, chaotic, emotionally-draining relationships. You may have even wondered, Why do I keep attracting the wrong kind of people in my life?
It’s a common and frustrating dilemma for women, especially for those who believe that their education, degree, and status should qualify them to attract a different kind of partner or friend. But your material, educational, and socio-economic status doesn’t determine your attraction quotient.
I believe that people who come into your life are attracted to the part of you with which they identify the most. For example, if you predominantly project your insecurities, you only attract other insecure people.
Why do I keep attracting the wrong kind of people in my life?
If you still see yourself as someone who was rejected, abandoned, and abused as a child, you will tend to attract similarly broken, wounded people. If you promote yourself as the “fixer” and “rescuer” among your family and friends, you will attract people who are in need of rescuing!
It is not a question of how adequate or lovable you are, but of how you identify and project yourself to others. Do you see yourself as being strong, capable, lovable, and worthy of love? Then you will tend to attract people who mirror what you already believe about yourself.
Here are three ways to attract the “more” you desire and deserve:
Reassess Your Expectations
Your relationships generally reflect your expectations. Do an inventory of the significant people in your life and determine if they line up with your expectations. You should also assess if your expectations are in alignment with that person’s capacity.
There are some people who don’t have the capacity to love you the way you need and deserve. If that is the case, lose them and let them go. Remember, what you expect is what you will eventually come to accept.
Release Yourself from the Lone Ranger Mentality
While you may want more from your dating partner, husband, family & friends, you may subconsciously be projecting an “I don’t need anyone,” “I can do it by myself” attitude. This may be due to insecurity, mistrust, fear, or hurt you have suffered in past relationships.
But no matter how capable you may be, there are people who have gifts, skills, and resources that would enable you to do and have more than you can possibly do alone. Your connections will always create your expansion.
Release Yourself From the Super Woman Complex
As women we sometimes love hard and wrong. We will don our superwoman cape and pour more energy, and effort into rescuing others, only to realize we need rescuing ourselves. To gain more, we have to let go of the myth that says, “I can fix them.”
You don’t have to settle for what a person could be one day, you deserve someone who already is.
BMWK, Are you ready to get more of what you desire from relationships?
Niki Brown is the author of “There Is More! 8 Steps To Embracing the Greater You.” As the CEO of Purpose by Design, Niki Brown is a highly praised and sought after coach, mentor, and motivational speaker to women who desire to live more authentically, and more abundantly. Known for her dynamic, yet practical style of communication; she is a life leader who embodies and teaches the philosophy that trapped within every woman is the ability to create her own doorway to greatness and success. To date, hundreds of women have experienced a life change through the effectiveness of Niki’s empowerment strategies, life coaching principles, motivational speaking and seminars. For more than 15 years, she has inspired women to transition out of their “limited thinking” and into “progressive living.”