Valentine’s Day is just around the corner ladies! If you’re tired of being the only one of your friends who doesn’t have a date for this special day, then keep reading! I’m going to share with you 5 surefire ways to get a date by Valentine’s Day that are fun and easy to do. Let’s get started!
1. Divorce your story about why you’re still single
You can’t judge a man and want to be with one at the same time! When you stay married to your fears about relationships, you’ll overcompensate by avoiding love or by looking for the perfect man (who doesn’t exist!)
Negativity ain’t cute and it attracts the wrong things and people into your life. If you’re going to get the attention of high-quality men, then you need to adjust your thinking starting now.
To help you get started, create an intention about your goal to go out on a great date for Valentine’s Day. Here’s one you can use: “Meeting men is easy! My confidence is through the roof and I attract high-quality men like a magnet!” Say it 7 times per day for it to become your new focus.
2. Stop Mean Muggin’
Seriously. Your resting face is scaring men away! I know you want to keep the wrong ones from approaching you, but you’re also keeping the right one from saying hello. You can’t self-protect and let love in at the same time, so drop your guards and smile.
For some seriously great tips on where to find men, go to the next page.
3. Create Opportunities To Meet Men
Now that you’re smiling and looking approachable, you want to start having conversations with men. This means you’re going to have to get out of your house if you want a date by Valentine’s Day. The only men knocking on your door are there to deliver a pizza or package. Stop leaving things up to chance, which is another way of hiding from love, by the way.
Clubs aren’t your thing? Great! Good men are all around you. But if you go to work-home-church and then repeat, it’s impossible to meet anyone.
So here’s your step-by-step plan to start mingling with great guys.
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Search for single’s events in your town.
There are MeetUps happening all the time and these are great places for you to mingle. Put one on your calendar for the next 7 days.
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Go to where the men are
It’s almost the super Bowl which means football fans are out in droves to watch the game! Grab some of your girls, put on some skinny jeans and a fitted jersey and go watch the game at a sports bar type restaurant. Cheer, trash-talk, and enjoy the game. During commercial breaks, ask the handsome man sitting next to you his thoughts on that last play. Or, if you’re a fair-weather fan like me, ask him to help you understand what just happened! But don’t interrupt him during the game (he’s not going to like that)
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Use simple icebreakers to start the conversation.
Let’s say you’re in a grocery store and you see an attractive man who seems to be single. You’re going to make an excuse to walk down the same aisle, smile and say, “Excuse me, can you help me with something?” Asking for help turns on a man’s attraction switch. High quality men love to come to your aide and it’s a nonsexual way to get their attention.
You’ll either ask him to grab the box of cereal on the top shelf for you, or for him to give you his opinion on which bag salad he thinks tastes best. Be prepared to continue the conversation if necessary, or to say thank you and walk away if he seems uninterested. You’re just getting his attention so he can do the rest: ask you out!
4. Download Dating Apps
Now we only have a few days to get you a date, so you need to strengthen your strategy to meet men using online dating. Download a dating app and let the swiping begin!
MELD is one of my favorite apps for professional Black singles. One of my coaching clients met her amazing new boyfriend on there and she hated online dating! You may have already tried the online dating thing or prefer to meet people by chance, but if you knew that your future husband was waiting for you there, would it matter how you met?
You can’t just put up a picture and wait for the right man to write to you! There’s a formula to this thing: First, use your BEST pictures. I prefer you get professional photos done but since we’re racing against the clock, you’ll need to get a quick makeover and have your friends take some fun photos of you in great lighting using your smartphone.
Upload them and fill out your profile. But this isn’t a resume, sisters. It’s a dating profile. You need to present yourself to the men reading it from the perspective of being a great first date and an even better girlfriend who he can one day make his wife.
The great guys are looking for a woman who are optimistic, fun, and who knows how to treat a man right. Show him that you’re the woman of his dreams by the words you use in your profile.
Next you have to reach out. Start a conversation with a guy you think would be a great date. Say hello, pay him a compliment about his profile and ask him a fun question like, “Do you always clean up so nicely when you go out?”
I know you’re old-fashioned and you want him to do that, but in recent studies on online dating and race, the experts say that Black women need to make the first move by sending the first email if you want to be noticed by the RIGHT men online. don’t worry, it’s just like smiling and saying “hello” to someone you meet at the grocery store.
Invite him offline quickly so you don’t get stuck in a virtual relationship. Keep it low key like coffee or appetizers during the day, to make sure you’d like to see him again.
5. Stay magazine ready
I’m your sister-friend, and I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but this just has to be said: No more sneaking to the store with your do-rag on in some raggedy sweat pants, talking about some, “I’m just grabbing a carton of milk real quick!” And no more wearing your wig like it’s a hat or dressing like you’re on the mother’s board at church.
It’s not just about what your clothes are saying about you. It’s what they’re saying TO you. Psychologists have discovered that what you wear can affect your mood and your confidence levels. So dress like your dream man is watching, because he just might be!
The best love stories start with “hello.” Ultimately, you’re just trying to position yourself to be found by the right man and this is your starting point. Have fun and let me know how it goes!
BMWK, are you ready to be found for Valentine’s Day?