Let me know if this is you: you are scrolling through your timeline on Facebook or your favorite social media site and you’re constantly bombarded with status updates, photos and videos of people getting engaged, married and celebrating their full-on coupledom.
For some singles it’s fine; but for others, it can be a constant reminder that things in their own love story have not developed so nicely.
With that comes the temptation to get jealous of someone else’s relationship or even to compare your situation to theirs.
Social media has created jealous behavior over illusions. Sadly some are envious over things, relationships and lifestyles that don’t even exist. –author unknown
Here are three things to consider before “online relationship jealousy” sets in.
Relationships are more than #RelationshipGoals.
Relationship goals that we normally see on social media reflect the material and emotional fantasy of an ideal relationship.
They reflect the fun side of relationships that many of us want and that’s when it becomes an issue.
When we focus solely on the fun and juicy moments of relationships we tend to forget what’s necessary to truly keep a relationship strong and the work it takes to maintain it through the years.
How many posts have you seen about relationship goals with a couple serving one another when they don’t want to or talking through a disagreement? Relationships consist more of the fun moments, but being there for one another when the times are the most sad, the most challenging, and then getting through it together, are real goals that you’ll want for your relationship.
Not everything is as it seems online.
Remember the warning on the car side mirrors “Objects are closer than they appear?” Upon a more focused look, you’ll notice that things are different from what you initially thought.
You don’t want to be envious or jealous of anyone’s timeline events because you never know what they may be going through now or what they will go through in their next season.
That’s why “What God has for you is for you” stands because we really don’t know how someone else truly has it, especially based on what they show online.
We are all given our own issues, gifts, levels of faith and no one experience is exactly the same in the matters of love. Some couples didn’t take the time to work on themselves or know themselves before they got together and while it may seem that everything is altogether on the outside, unfortunately many relationships are only putting on a front for the world while they suffer within.
Jealousy makes you sit on your own hands and block your blessings as you spectate others receiving their blessings with open hands.
Having a mature perspective on love and relationships drives you to pray for couples, even those you don’t know, because the word tells us to honor marriage (Hebrews 13:4) and build one another up.
Praying for someone else is way more productive than being jealous of them. It also takes unnecessary anxiety of waiting and comparing off of you in your time of prayer.
Don’t distract yourself from your own timeline.
Jealousy is not something you want to bring into your relationship. If you don’t deal with that now in your single season, it can breed insecurity and confusion in your relationships.
It is counter productive to compare your dates to the ones you see on Instagram and compare couples’ photos and moments to your own. Rather, take proper care of your relationship.
Don’t stir resentment and insecurity in your partner by comparing them to other people or your relationship to other couples. If you were meant to be with another person you would. Pastor Kim Jones Pothier says “Take care of what God has blessed you with. The key to a great life is thankfulness!”
Perhaps you, your future mate, or you both are still under development until the appointed time to get together. Whatever the case may be, this is the time to focus on your lane, your story, your timeline, instead of being disillusioned by everyone else’s.
God is always giving us hints and ways that we can improve so we can get closer to our destiny in all areas of life. Don’t miss those love notes!
Here’s to logging off social media and putting more attention into our seasons of developing our own beautiful relationships.
Hey BMWK fam, have you ever been jealous of a couple online? How did you handle it?