You finally met a good one from that dating app you feel like you’ve been chained to for the last 3 months, and he asked you for a meet and greet. You met up for appetizers and the conversation was mentally stimulating. He seemed to be impressed by you too, which is refreshing considering the fact that men tend to be intimidated by your success. Plus, he was easy on the eyes! This man was great on paper and amazing in real life.
You’re intrigued to know more about him, so when the night was over, you asked him, “let me know if you want to hang out again.” His response was an enthusiastic “Sure!”
That was on Tuesday. Today is Friday. You haven’t gotten a text message from him since your great date. Did he disappear? Why didn’t he call you back?
If you’re tired of having a great first date and then nothing, I want to share 3 possible reasons why he disappeared so you can have peace and move forward with your confidence intact.
1. He was interested in you, but not attracted to you
Have you ever had a great conversation with a guy online, but when you met up, he wasn’t as delicious as you thought he’d be? Well, it can happen for men too. Think back to the date: Was the energy strong? Or did it feel like you were 2 good friends talking? If you had to take the temperature of the date, was it steaming hot, ice cold, or lukewarm?
Remember, you want a man who is excited about you, not just impressed by you.
2. He wanted something casual
Some guys disappear after a great date because they know they only want a casual hookup. Once they meet you, they can tell you want something more substantial. When you think back to the conversation, did he ask you questions about what you wanted in a relationship? Did he say something like, “So…are you the kind of woman who needs to have a label on the relationship before you have sex?” If he was fishing for information on your intentions, then it’s highly likely that he wasn’t going to go the distance with you anyway. He knew that and didn’t want to waste your time.
3. He’s dating other women
If it’s been 3 days since your last date and he hasn’t called you back, he may have a heavy rotation of other women he’s talking to. I’m not trying to make him out to be a player. I’m giving you insight into the minds of some men who date online. They tend to go for quantity and speed, going out with as many women as they can and then eliminating them based on whatever criteria they have in their minds (and they won’t be upfront about it).
Don’t get offended or feel rejected: Take a page out of their playbook and go out with other guys too. You may meet another man on Saturday who blows Mr. Tuesday Date out the water!
Dating is rarely black and white. A great date doesn’t mean it’s going to turn into a relationship. Take your time and don’t look at the next guy through marriage eyes. Just enjoy your appetizers and drinks, lean back, and see if he pursues you. The right man won’t want you to get away, and will ask you out again before the first date is over!
BMWK, have you ever had a guy disappear after a great date? Tell me your story, and I’ll coach you on what to do about it.