Whether you are currently engaged, dating or single, the answer to this question will help you tremendously for when it is time to cross this bridge.
Time is a very important commodity not only in relationship but also in life in general.
It is through time that things have the opportunity to mature, develop and evolve, granting the ability to make sound decisions.
Even God understands the power of time and seasons. We find the Bible stating in Ecclesiastes chapter 3, verse 1, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”
In relationships, timing is basically everything. Something done too soon could ruin the potential of that action, but also something done too late could also have equal amount of damage.
Now, here me when I say this. There is no one size fits all in regards to timing for the decision to marry. What does that mean? You cannot base your timeline on someone else’s timeline.
Now, is there a such thing as too long? Yes.
But, is everyone’s measuring stick for too long going to be the same? No.
My wife and I were engaged after only four months of dating and married six months later. I didn’t use anyone else’s relationship as the measuring stick, but simply used wisdom as the measuring stick. I knew she was the right one for me, and we both were in the right season to make that commitment. This is after receiving the peace and permission from God, her parents, my pastor, my parents, and my close friends. I believe strongly in community.
But I’m sure we all know couples who haven’t taken years to enter in the decision of marriage, but their love is no less.
It’s hard to truly determine what length of time is suited for your relationship, but there is one thing that can help: The greatest key to eliminate any form of confusion during your dating process is communication. My wife and I were able to have a serious conversation about our desires for marriage in our future, while I was still able to keep an element of surprise for when I proposed. If marriage is a priority to you, state it. If marriage isn’t a priority to you, communicate that as well. And no matter where you stand on marriage, the other must be willing to receive that stance and either work effectively toward a common ground or part ways as not to waste each other’s time.
A man who knows what he wants will make it happen and will communicate his intentions to you. A man who isn’t ready for marriage will find every excuse in the book to prolong the decision for marriage. Therefore you must gain his honesty through clear and open communication. And until then, you must guard your heart, mind and body until he fully earns all access to you by putting a ring on your finger.
BMWK, how long is too long for you to wait for a proposal?