Are you suffering from “dating depression?” Here are the symptoms:
- Frustration
- Exhaustion
- Disappointment
- Fear
- Anger
- Loneliness
- Hopelessness
If dating is no longer fun and you’re ready to just give up, let me offer you some inspiration and practical tips that will encourage you and build your faith while you wait for Mr. Right.
1. Date while you wait…
…but do it with intention. When you’re discouraged about dating, it’s so easy to say, “I”m done with men,” and go back into your hermit cave, crash on the couch, and binge on a bag of chocolate chips while you watch How To Get Away With Murder.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)
But avoiding dating and relating isn’t the answer. Keep sharpening your relationship skills and learn how to trust the process. Everyone you meet isn’t The One, so don’t be so surprised when a man reveals this to you.
2. Keep hope alive
I remember being so discouraged while I was single, that I cried a whole weekend. In the midst of my tears, I had a real talk with God. “Why isn’t this happening for me? All of my friends are married. I’m tired of being alone!”
I heard God whisper to my heart, “Keep your hope alive.” When I searched out what Biblical hope actually is, I discovered it’s more than wishful thinking. Hope is the confident expectation that something good is going to happen! I realized that I didn’t want to get my hopes up because I didn’t want to be disappointed. And then I saw this:
“We also boast of our troubles, because we know that trouble produces endurance, endurance brings God’s approval, and his approval creates hope. This hope does not disappoint us…” (Romans 5:3-5 GNT).
When your faith is anchored in the fact that God created marriage and His plans are always good, you can get your hopes up!
3. Believe that it’s inevitable
One reason why it’s so important to get your hopes up is that faith works by hope.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)
In order to beat dating depression and expect that good things will happen for you, you have to believe that the love, commitment and marriage you desire is not only possible, it is inevitable.
In other words, you have to get the doubt out of your mouth. Saying things like, “Where are these men?! It probably won’t happen for me. Maybe I’m just supposed to be single. I’m satisfied this way anyway,” will weaken your faith.
So what should you say instead, while you wait for Mr. Right to show up in your life?
4. Use affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements you say to yourself that help you overcome negativity, fear and doubt. Think of them like exercises for your mind. The more you lift weights, the stronger your muscles become. In much the same way, affirmations build your faith muscles so you can have strength to wait for Mr. Right.
Here are a few to get you started:
- I am worthy to give and receive unconditional love.
- I give myself permission to be happy and in a committed relationship.
- I forgive myself for my past mistakes and look forward to what God has for me in my future.
Pick one and repeat it several times per day until you feel your faith, hope and enthusiasm increase.
5. Surround yourself with supportive friends, family and mentors
Finally, if you’re going to overcome dating depression and have the faith to believe that your future husband is on his way, then you want to have a “Ride or Die” crew of supportive friends, family and mentors who will support you in this vision for your life.
In fact, you’ll need at least one person who believes even more strongly than you do! This person will remind you of your dreams for a happy marriage when you want to quit dating and will hold you accountable if you hold on to a man who is totally wrong for you. She will pray for you, encourage you, and lift you up when you need it.
Let me be that person for you today. I see so much happiness waiting for you in you future. I see you glowing because you have finally married “The One” who sees you as a blessing and he does everything in his power to let you know he loves, respects and cherishes you everyday.
You’ll make pancakes on Saturday and cuddle under the blankets when it’s cold. You’ll take a walk in the park listening to 90’s old-school jams, and laugh at his corny jokes. You’ll put little post-it notes in the bathroom just say I love you, and he’ll text you while he’s at work to say how much he misses you. It will be more than what you wanted!
You won’t be single forever.
BMWK, send this article to someone you know who needs to be encouraged while she waits for Mr. Right!