When my wife and I crossed over from single life to married life we were so excited about the journey that awaited us.
We had done everything we knew possible to prepare ourselves for this great adventure that marriage would take us on. We knew there would be ups and downs like most people had told us, but we still had no clue the types of problems we would run into.
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After we got married, we discovered there were some key issues that were beginning to weigh our marriage down very quickly. These issues were ones that were not covered in our pre-marital counseling sessions or in any of the books we read. I would like to offer some insight into the 5 issues that will explode in your future marriage if not dealt with now.
Ignorance
It seemed in every book we read it would tell us how to keep your spouse happy, or how to apologize when your spouse was upset; but the one thing these books were missing was WHY should we do this. What was the why? The why is locked up in the purpose of marriage. Why did God create this institution? At the end of it all marriage is about and for God.
It was God’s original intent to form this institution that it might display His glory through the covenant love you and your spouse will display to the World. Many couples confuse this and make marriage about them. When you don’t understand the purpose of marriage then you open the door to many other problems.
Sin
I know you’ve probably had a few thoughts about how your wedding day will look and how beautiful that day will be. You’ve dreamed of how perfect your spouse will be when you two stand together at the altar ready to make your vows of commitment to love one another for the rest of your lives.
It truly is one of the most amazing moments that you will never forget. But, even though that moment seems so perfect, reality is, you’re about to marry a sinner. A sinner is someone who makes mistakes. For your entire existence before this moment you only had to manage your mistakes.
Now, you have to manage your mistakes and someone else’s mistakes. This is a problem that many couples run right into in the first year of marriage. It’s important to learn how to have grace with one another as you both develop and grow into the person God has created you to be.
Your future spouse will be going through a process of refinement just as you will be. How you handle one another’s moments of failure will determine greatly the health of your marriage.
Generational Pass Downs
Do you remember when going to the doctor being asked questions such as:
- Did anyone in your family have cancer?
- Does anyone in your family has breathing problems?
- Does either of your parents have a heart condition?
These questions are asked because doctors know that if someone in your family had a certain health issue, then it is very possible that you could have the same issue as well.
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That issue could have been passed down to you. This can also be applied to our life issues. I know I’ve heard my mom say to me to many times, “You’re being just like your Dad right now”. One thing we underestimate when we get married is the amount of influence our parents’s marriages or lack thereof will have upon our marriages.
The things you’ve witnessed or haven’t witnessed can greatly affect your marriage if you do not take the time and assess your family history. My wife and I during our engagement took time and examined our parents marriages in order to prepare ourselves for issues that may try to come up in our marriage.
By taking the time and examining these issues now while you are single, you can be better prepared for the great journey of marriage.
BMWK, what are other ways to prepare for marriage that people don’t usually talk about?