By: Michelby “Coco” Whitehead
As we fall into autumn, a lot of women are making it their business to find Mr. Right. This year, ladies attended all the Tony Gaskins events, read the Steve Harvey book four more times, and even took cooking classes to prepare for the husband hunt!
Certainly, a woman who is preparing herself to be a great spouse deserves a man who has practiced the same… right guys? (I think I hear crickets!)
If you are a ready to find the Gina to your Martin, here are 10 proactive tactics that you need to implement into your life to get your wife.
1) Get clear about what you desire in life
Are you looking to retire by 40? Naturally, you will want the woman of your dreams to indulge in those days off with you, and be available to take spur of the moment trips.
If the woman you are dating has six children in elementary school, how much time will she have for the carefree life associated with early retirement? Moreover, if she has six children, will you be able to quit working so soon or will your income be needed for their expenses?
If her goals are not in alignment with the plans you have for your life, you need to figure out if this relationship will work for you. The first step to determining that is understanding what you truly want in life. That way, no one’s time has been wasted and arguments that begin with “If I would have known…” can be avoided.
2) Know that intimacy and sex is not the same thing
If your goal is to find a wife, smashing females just because you want to is out of the question. Sex clouds judgment and makes you fall in “love” for all the wrong reasons.
You will find that intimacy only happens with the right person and doesn’t necessarily have to end with the two of you in the sack. You’ll soon stop thinking you have “a connection” with all the women you run across and you’ll avoid drowning in child support payments.
3) Behave on social media!
- When you ‘like’ pages called Big Booty Heaven, we notice.
- If you do have a girlfriend and you manage to give every other woman a shoutout except her on WCW, we notice.
- When you rant on your wall about how your baby’s mama is a whore, we notice.
- And when you’re all up in your co-worker’s, classmate’s and first cousin’s inbox asking for their phone number, we hear about it.
Contrary to popular belief, social media was not a tool created for the purposes of running game. Slow your roll and think before you tweet—I’m just sayin’!
4) Present yourself as a man should
Dress the part of someone who is looking to attract a wife and leave the “just chillin’” gear at home.
How you carry yourself has a lot to do with whom you attract. If that wasn’t the case, why do we tell women to leave something to the imagination? Yeah, ponder that…
5) Stop validating women for the wrong reasons
Can she hold an intelligent conversation about issues that really matter? When you’re having a bad day, does she pray with you? Or is she just eye candy when you step on the scene? The way in which you validate women says a lot about you as a man.
6) Get your life
So now that you have decided what you want in life, it’s time to get your life! Self-actualization is a HUGE component of real happiness.
A dream deferred will make you miserable and silently cruel to the woman you’re dating because you are not satisfied with yourself. In turn, you’ll never believe she is satisfied with you either.
7) Step your dad game up
If you are not being the best father you can be, there is absolutely no need to even think about building a relationship with any woman. Nurture your seeds first. A real woman is not interested in dating an absentee father.
8) Go places you wouldn’t normally go
Expand your horizons beyond the pool hall and the grocery store. The girl in the library can be just as exciting! Take some time to have an adventure and you may be surprised what you will find.
9) Take your time
You don’t have to settle for the first woman that cooks your favorite meal! People have many layers and it takes time to build trust. The only way to build genuine trust is to get to know someone by spending meaningful time with them and having conversations that go beyond “So, what did you do today?”
10) Consult the Big Homie before choosing a potential wife
God has someone designed as the perfect mate for you. Pray for guidance in your relationship, ask God to reveal things you may be blind to, and be willing to accept the revelation once you get it.
Many times, we force things to fit and have the nerve to wonder why it isn’t working in our favor! On the other hand, we can miss out on a good relationship because we’re not mature enough to recognize the blessing that was sent. Pray that your head and heart be ready to receive what is yours!
BMWK, What other ways can a single guy get ready for marriage?
Michelby “Coco” Whitehead is an entrepreneur with a passion for all things media. She is the founder of public relations firm Chocolate PR as well as a freelance writer, speaker, and an editor at CocoaFab.com. When she’s not working, the Louisiana native enjoys quiet time alone, music, family, and food! Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @theMEDIAnista!