(Yesterday we ran a married man’s point of view on Facebook and it was a very hot topic. Well… we have a lot of single readers and we didn’t want to leave them out so today we’re running a single woman’s point of view. Check it out and let us know what you think.)
by Cherise Adkins
It’s hard enough navigating the single world as a woman living in 2009. With all this new technology, it seems the excitement of romance is dying with every push of a button or click of a mouse. It is my belief that our quest to find “The One” is being directly hampered by high-tech advances in communication. We’ve gone from the telephone to e-mail to texting to what I consider the worst perpetrator of them all: Facebook.
Human nature says the basic rules of male-to-female attraction involve what’s referred to as The Chase. And in today’s world, both men and women are responsible for its demise. It’s not uncommon for two people to meet at a bar, and end the first conversation with a phrase that kills any and all relationship potential. That self-destructive two-word phrase is “Facebook me!” It’s practically a dating suicide bombing. And I’ll tell you why.
My own personal case studies (and we’ll get into that in just a moment) have lead me to conclude the following fact. Add him as a friend and be prepared to listen to silence. Yes, that’s the sound of your phone not ringing. I noticed this phenomenon when I friended a string of men, only to notice their sudden disinterest.
I first noticed it on Halloween 2008. I was dressed as a female cop. He was a shirtless genie in a bottle. We both were out for a night on the town. After a brief and flirty conversation, he gave me his name and told me to look him up on Facebook. Warning ladies– don’t do it. Anyway, back to my story. Being blissfully unaware, I found him the next day and tagged him in a picture we took together. From that day on, I never heard a word from him. Not so much as a “nice meeting you” or “thanks for tagging me.” For him, it was mission complete. I quickly became another pretty face in a crowd of a thousand friends. I thought nothing of this until months later when I met someone else who seemed pretty into me. I Facebooked him. Poof! No interest on his part. Then it happened again. And again. Until I realized that Facebook friending has not only replaced the false promise of a phone call, but it virtually guarantees that a man will show no interest in you at all. And it’s not his fault. It’s yours.
If a man already knows your background, interests, preferences, what makes you laugh, what you dreamed about last night, what you ate for breakfast today, what you thought about that new romantic comedy, and why you’re taking your pet to the vet at 12 noon, what in the world would inspire him to pick up the phone and call you?
The answer is nothing. Facebook bombards you with detailed insight into another person’s life, thus eliminating the element of mystery. Without mystery, there is no intrigue. Without intrigue, there is no reason to chase. And without The chase, well you can just forget it.
Too much too soon can be detrimental. So limit your social networking to in-person encounters and you’re sure to find virtual success in the real world of dating.
Single BMWK family, should you FB friend a potential date that you meet? Have you had good or bad experiences after you became FB friends with a person you were interested in dating ?