“I won’t tell your secrets…your secrets are safe with me…I will keep your secrets…just think of me as the pages in your diary!” WOW! That sounds so deep and so intimate and I’m sure in that song by Alicia Keys it was meant to be just that.
Well that, my friends, sounds really good until the affair goes bad and now you’re knocked back into reality. She said she wouldn’t tell anyone. He said it was just our little secret. How did it get out? Well the truth is that it’s probably never just between you and the other person and for that reason alone you may want to reconsider stepping out of your marriage and into an affair. You may think it’s the answer to what may be wrong in your marriage, but odds are it’s really the problem.
Here are a few reasons you may want to reconsider:
1. Screen shots and social media are real!
Some of you aren’t quite understanding that technology is a player’s and adulterer’s worst nightmare! Between screenshots, Facebook and Twitter inbox messages that never go away, iCloud picture streaming and everything else, you are bound to slip up and it’s all downhill from there! What used to lay in the dark comes to light a lot faster in 2014. Save yourself the headache and be faithful. When people are getting caught up via Facebook and text messaging obviously they aren’t as “user friendly” as you think!
2. You vowed not to!
Enough said….you said it and committed to it…not me!
3. You can’t fix what’s wrong at home away from home.
Every couple has issues and marriages go through seasons…but you married this person and committed your life to them for a reason. You may be going through a rough spot, but the effort you put into that affair could be the effort you put into fixing what’s wrong in your marriage. The easy thing to do is to step outside of your marriage. But the right thing to do is to get back to the root of your commitment and put in the work needed.
4. Someone is bound to fall deep!
What started as an office affair has suddenly turned into a full blown delusional commitment. She thinks you’re going to leave your spouse to be with her and you have no plans of doing so. Then the ultimatum comes…”either you be with me or I’m going to tell!” Yes, affairs sound exciting until someone falls too deep and suddenly it’s fatal attraction part II! Now she begins to bump into your wife at the grocery store or he starts dropping hints to other dudes that know your husband. Think twice…what sounds exciting and spontaneous won’t be worth losing your family.
5. You owe it to your children.
Divorce and constant conflict do a number on a child’s well-being. The tension in the house, the breaking up of families and the back and forth parenting make it more stressful on kids. A solid family unit with a healthy marriage and relationship give children structure, security, and stability and watching their parents love each other makes them unafraid to love as well. I’m not saying you should always “stay for the children” but I am saying you should make effort to do so!
6. Short term romance may equal long term suffering!
Have you seen the turmoil that can happen as two people go through a divorce?! Two people that once loved each other become scorned and hurt individuals who can’t stand the sight of each other. It gets ugly really quickly and love turns to hate. Suddenly you’re splitting assets and tearing apart the life you’ve built together all for the short lived excitement. Think long term consequences and benefits not short term egotistical driven gains.
Sometimes it’s very easy to start justifying why we should feel okay about stepping outside of our marriages. He isn’t this, she isn’t that, we grew apart, she gained weight, he is boring…….and the list continues. Maybe before we step out it’s a good idea to revisit some of the reasons we dedicated our lives to our spouse instead of why want to step out on them. Choose wisely my friends!
“Striving to be better than good enough!”