by Aja Jackson
sub?mit
[suhb-mit] Use submit in a SentenceSee web results for submitSee images of submit““verb (used with object)
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1. |
to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively). |
Since my husband and I moved into our new home in August we have locked horns about the neutral wall color to use throughout the house. I, after spending way more time than one person should watching HGTV and reading home design magazines, feel that I have come up with the perfect blend of alternating French Vanilla and Dominican Satin. My husband, who will actually be the one doing the painting, wants to use one color throughout, claiming that alternating the colors will cost him more time and effort in having to change brushes, and that the alternating colors will make the house look like a crayon box.
As innocuous as it seems, the decision has been the source of more than one heated debate over the last few weeks. No matter how eloquent the argument for one option or the other, neither one of us is budging. So now we have two options: 1) continue to argue forever with the rooms painted their current shade of faded eggshell or 2) one of us will have to submit to the other.
This is not the first, and I’m certain it will not be the last time that my husband and I don’t see eye-to-eye on something for which there is seemingly no compromise. Two slightly different shades of neutral don’t seem to be enough to cause trouble at home, but how often do problems begin between a couple with small issues where neither partner is willing to back down. We see it all the time when celebrity couples divorce citing “irreconcilable differences”. Whatever the issue was, there was no compromise, and no one was willing to give in.
These days, submission to another person is often equated with weakness. Strong, Black men don’t want to look “whipped” for giving in; strong, Black women have been told over and over again not to bow down to anyone. While there are times when you truly need to stand your ground, the truth is that there are moments in a marriage when it is necessary to put your spouse’s needs ahead of your own, if only to keep the peace. In a healthy relationship, most issues will reach a compromise, and one person won’t constantly be submitting to the other.
I am the first one to admit that to “submit” can be a difficult concept to grasp. The dictionary offers several synonyms to the word that can sometimes make it feel a little easier, like comply, agree, and yield.
But it only offers one alternative:
Antonyms:
1. fight.
BMWK family, what do you think about submission to your spouse? Is there a negative spin put on it by society? Are you submissive?