by Tara Pringle Jefferson
When I first got married, I would drive home every day, exhausted from work and a two-hour commute, thinking to myself, “It would be so nice if my husband surprised me and brought dinner home.” Or “It would be nice if my husband surprised me with a gift.” Or “I would love it if he came home and gave me a back massage.” It didn’t really matter what it was – I just wanted some token that my husband was thinking of me.
And what happened? You guessed it. Day after day I’d wait for my husband to get home and he would do the same thing after a long day at work: collapse on the couch. He wasn’t thinking about giving me a back massage any more than I was thinking about giving him one. And so I would be frustrated because what I thought should happen usually didn’t.
It took some time, but I changed my perspective. I became more grateful for the little things. I began to get excited for the simple fact that he came home every day, on time, like clockwork. He got off work, picked up our two kids, brought them home. Didn’t hang out with his friends or stop at happy hour every day. I had to learn to appreciate the simple gestures all over again. It was only when I learned to just love his presence (nothing more, nothing less) did our relationship really improve.
I don’t need him to come home from work with flowers or chocolates or jewelry once a week (although it would be nice!). Just his smell, his presence, the sound of his voice – that’s enough for me.
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.