My wife and I just completed our first year of marriage. People told us that the first year of marriage would be difficult. I never put much thought into the notion because I knew from the beginning marriage is going to require work.
As long as we were willing to commit to put in the work, I knew we would be fine. Consequently, we have had a great first year of marriage! Let me give you a few reasons why:
We work together on just about everything
There are things I have needed help on in my coaching practice and there are things my wife has needed help with in her business.
We have been there to help each other any way we can. We may not necessarily be experts in each other’s businesses, but we can apply our strengths to help each other in the ways we are able to.
We are also both good listeners, which is a trait that is important to any marriage. When we listen (and I often confirm to make sure I understood what she said), then it’s easier to assist in work life or home life.
Working together also means working in your strength. For us, I’m not much of a cook and she doesn’t like doing laundry.
I have done most of the laundry and she has done most of the cooking. “Staying in our lane” and not trying to force each other to do something which doesn’t fit our strengths has helped us work together as a team.
Team First, Individual Second
I have always believed in the concept of putting the team first and a marriage, well it’s definitely a team. We had to work as a team when we recently decided to move from our home to pursue a better opportunity in another city.
It wasn’t an easy decision, but we discussed it and included our children as we decided what would be best for our “team.” We decided the opportunity made sense for us at this time, so we stepped out on faith and went for it!
If one of us was only looking out for our individual interests, we might have made a different decision; but we made the choice, from day one, that the best thing for our marriage will be how we base our decisions.
Happy Wife, Happy Life
There is truth in the statement happy wife, happy life, but for different reasons than you might believe. Being supportive of our spouses is the key to creating the teamwork and harmony we need to keep our relationships strong.
In my marriage, I’m expected to lead in many areas and I choose to lead by putting my wife’s needs first. Of course, on bigger decisions, we will put the needs of the team first as I mentioned before; but I believe it’s important to make sure she feels secure and she has what she needs. Making your wife feel secure in every way is paramount to having a strong marriage.
The first year of marriage can be challenging, but if you go into it knowing marriage doesn’t run on auto pilot and it requires work and commitment, the first year can be a great year together.
BMWK, how was your first year of marriage?