My friends are quick to point out how I view the world through rose-colored glasses. They often tease me about my ability to notice the positive in everyone and in every situation and my odd expectation that things will always work out. It’s true; it is my nature to have these optimistic expectations. For me it’s my faith and belief in GOD. Based on proof from the Word and my past I strongly believe things will consistently work out as they should. Because of that I have come to expect great to happen in my life. I often share this insight with others, but I recognize it’s easier said than done. I’ve learned in my life that the power of affirmative thinking actually makes positive things occur.
Unfortunately, I have witnessed negativity ruin relationships. It has shown up in various ways and each of these ways began to eat away at the health of the partnership. It can appear as one of the partners always expecting the worse. Or it can show up as someone in the marriage expecting there to be drama and even having an expectation that a spouse at some point is going to piss them off. It doesn’t always appear in words, but can frequently show up in our actions. How we treat our spouse can be triggered by our negative or positive thinking. If we are thinking there is going to be drama, guess what, we’re going to create that drama or at the very least seek it out.
If you happen to be one of those people who believe there will always be trouble, or who believe you don’t deserve the best, keep reading. My challenge to anyone struggling with overcoming the negative that shows up in our thoughts and manifests in our relationships is to view it from a different angle. In fact, my Pastor often suggests that when we change our thinking, we change our life. Though it might be uncomfortable now, consider how we benefit from this life lesson. Thinking positively and expecting the best outcome brings the greatest results.
The very first step toward positive thinking is to believe we deserve great! If we truly believe we are worthy and deserve true joy this shouldn’t be a problem. Once this becomes our thought process we often act as though we deserve it. Ask yourself, “Do I deserve joy, peace and love?” The answer is YES!
Next, we must frequently look for the positive. Honestly, every situation won’t go our way, whether we think positively or not. But if we begin to look for the good in even the most challenging of situations we are more likely to find it. Thinking how we may not have gotten what we wanted, but looking for what we did get is powerful. Occasionally it’s a lesson we absolutely needed to learn in that moment.
Then, let’s shift our focus in our relationships. Instead of thinking the worse of our spouse and their actions, let’s think the best. If we were to consider the intentions and motives of our spouses we just may come to the conclusion they didn’t mean to upset us. Reframing a situation with a new intention is eye opening. When a situation arises instead of the usual thoughts, let’s begin thinking the following “my husband did that because he thought it would make me happy or save us time and money” or “my wife said that not to hurt my feelings, but to make sure she was clear”. Get in the habit of thinking what else it could be. The majority of the time we’ll find our spouses don’t purposely set out to set us off.
Once we began to think positively more often and expect the best, our lives truly do change. Our actions mirror our thoughts. I challenge all to start today envisioning joy, peace and positivity in your marriage. Believe me positive thinking will transform a marriage and our lives in general.
How often do you practice positive thinking in your relationship?