This weekend, I was the envy of all of my girlfriends—single and married. I attended the Disney Dreamer’s Academy to report for my blog, Diary of a First Time Mom, and my other love, Black and Married with Kids. The girls weren’t jealous of my quality time with Mickey Mouse—who by the way, is much shorter in person! They envied the handsome actors I spent time with. Lance Gross—who is as sweet as he is sexy, Lamman Rucker—who is as grounded as the day we met on a public bus 15 years ago, and Laz Alonso whose spirit is as beautiful as his smile. Someone whispered into my ear, asking if Laz was only eye candy and couldn’t string a sentence together. He proved her wrong when he had an eloquent and inspirational conversation on stage, and a genuine approach off. I thought about my column and wondered what it would be like to go out on a date with him. A good-looking guy isn’t always a model man. I wondered why Meagan Goode’s character (Joanna) on NBC’s Deception didn’t give him much play. So, when he was off the clock, Laz and I went on a “date.” So what if a dozen people didn’t give us the privacy we wanted. So what if it wasn’t “technically” a date. We didn’t sit down to eat a meal or to watch a movie it was more like a red carpet press line. But we did engage in an interesting exchange, which at times is more satisfying than steak.
Heather: Laz, what are you looking for in a significant other, in a mate?
Laz: A mate? (Laughs) I never referred to a woman as a mate.
Heather: Right, but I’m not referring to someone you casually date. I’m talking about the person you might marry.
Laz: (Smiles) Right. When I’ve had the best relationships—that to me have stood out above the rest, I wasn’t looking. I was open and available. And I met the person that in my opinion God felt I needed at the time. You know how they say you have friends that are there for a moment, what is it—a reason, a season, a lifetime?
Heather: Yep. It’s in Ecclesiastes.
Laz: Right. There we go! I have not yet met my mate (laughs), my lifetime mate, but I do know that she’s out there. And it’s my job to remain open and to remain available. And to not clutter my life with unnecessary people who would keep her away in the event that I do meet her.
Heather: When you meet her does she have to come in a certain package? Do you have any non-negotiables?
Laz: I wouldn’t want someone to use a non-negotiable on me. Or write me off for something without getting to know me and my character, and who I am. Obviously you have things that attract you, but I try my best to not to have any non-negotiables. You never know who’s going to be that one.
Heather: Expectations are so different now. I just reentered the dating scene. I don’t date men who don’t pick up the phone and rely mainly on texting as a form of communication. Would you text back and forth?
Laz: My phone is my office. In my profession, I don’t have a workplace that I go to everyday. I get so many texts and emails—my agent, my manager, everybody’s hitting me. When it comes to personal relationships, I don’t want to text. I’m not going to sit and have an emotional or three page conversation telling you how I feel when we can do that in a conversation. And the beauty of technology is you can Facetime, Tango or Skype. You can see the person when you talk to them. And really see and hear their sincerity. I try to keep my text communication to business and my personal relationships more personal.
Heather: I agree! Thank you.
Laz: Thank you. It was nice meeting you.
And that’s how our date ended. Until we meet again over dinner or drinks, but definitely not over text messaging! Tonight, I’ll cuddle on the couch, and tune in to NBC’s Deception, perhaps cursing under my breath at Joanna for sleeping with Will (Laz) and then running into the arms of a rich man.
Want to read more about what Laz thinks about dating women with children? Read more and let me know if you want me to ask Laz on our second date.