by Aja Dorsey Jackson
As the gift giving season gets underway there is one phrase that will be heard frequently over the weeks to come: “It’s the thought that counts.”
While I know that this is supposed to be true, sometimes I think it is an excuse to give really bad and thoughtless gifts.
For instance, an unnamed adult family member of mine gave another family member a card that he had created himself out of construction paper and crayons. I use the term “created” quite loosely in this context, because it was less a creation and more a piece of construction paper folded in half with a drawing of a cake on the front and “Happy Birthday” written on the inside.
When I commented on it I was told “It’s the thought that counts.” But I wondered “How is this thoughtful?” Did it really take any thought for a 40-plus-year-old man to make a construction paper card?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not one that feels like she needs expensive gifts to be happy. One of my favorite gifts is a thermos my husband bought me because he overheard me saying that I needed one. That to me was thoughtful. It didn’t take much money or time, but it did take him knowing a little bit about me and what I would want or need.
What was not thoughtful was the plastic ruler a family member gave me for Christmas some years ago. I know she only gave it to me because she forgot about me and felt like she needed to give me something at the Christmas party so she found something in her desk.
Maybe I sound ungrateful, but I would much rather receive a nice card, a Happy Holidays email, or nothing at all than something that was thrown together at the last minute because the gift giver felt bad. To me, if that is what “It’s the thought that counts” means, I would rather you not think and give me nothing.
What does “the thought” mean to you? Have you ever received a truly thoughtless gift? What is the most thoughtful gift you have received.
Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and public relations consultant in Baltimore, Maryland. Find out more about her at www.ajadorseyjackson.com or follow her on twitter @ajajackson.