Okay, so now you know what I was listening to during my morning workout, today, the classic 1968 James Brown anthem, “This is a Man’s World.” But this morning I heard it with a different “ear” than I have previously. The lyrics of this classic song brought me to a infinitely more classic verse of the Bible in Genesis 2:24: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
I know, not too many people listen to James Brown and think of the Bible, but that is where I ended up by the midway point of the song. Because while the song repeatedly specifies the grit and creative power of a man, JB has to keep following up man’s accomplishments by saying, “…but I would be nothing, nothing, without a woman or a girl.” Although I have heard this line a million times before, it gave me a moment to reflect on the real strengths of marriage””balance and unity. We often hear people declare they can make it on their own, without a man or woman. But, for those that are married our plans, ambitions, and goals are at best hobbled until both man and woman are united in their focus. And that is where the biblical reality of becoming one flesh kicks in. Because, just as It’s A Man’s World makes transitions from individual to team success, “one flesh” thinking transitions our marriage from individual pride to team power.
What Is One Flesh?
So…then, what does it mean to become one flesh? Well, I do not think it means we are to dress alike and finish each other’s sentences; it probably does not even mean we have to always agree. It probably means little about what a couple does physically and more about what they are, emotionally and spiritually. More likely, it speaks to the unity and subsequent strength that a husband and wife gain when they are walking in step with one another. It means that we spend our energy continuously pulling up the seeds and if need be the weeds of discord that would want to grow between us. It also means that we are removing those things that seek to keep us bound to old perspectives and attitudes, instead of becoming united as one in desire and focus.
As my mind now goes back to the lyrics of James Brown, “one flesh” also in a practical sense means that in a healthy marriage there is no room for taking credit and keeping score. Because, all that either a man or woman is or does is nothing, nothing, nothing without the balance of the other. If you think back to when you were on the playground as a kid, even the most athletic kid on the block could not ride on the see-saw by themselves. It took someone else to balance them out (similar in weight). Even if the two people were unequal or dissimilar in many ways, they still could find some level of success on the see-saw. Likewise, spouses have neither the same strengths nor weaknesses but if equally yoked and pursuing to become one flesh, they find balance. And it is indeed a long term pursuit and not a singular destination.
In the constant pursuit of unity and balance, a man gains comfort in being head of the household without threat, because in his wife he finds balance not a competitor. In the same way, a wife can be who she is, and not run the risk of feeling marginalized, because she knows her husband is her balance not her overseer. Keep in mind that God made both male and female, so let’s celebrate one another.
BMWK, let’s help each other out here. How do you celebrate the balance your spouse brings to you?