Okay, so now you know what I was listening to during my morning workout, today, the classic 1968 James Brown anthem, “This is a Man’s World.” But this morning I heard it with a different “ear” than I have previously. The lyrics of this classic song brought me to a infinitely more classic verse of the Bible in Genesis 2:24: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
I know, not too many people listen to James Brown and think of the Bible, but that is where I ended up by the midway point of the song. Because while the song repeatedly specifies the grit and creative power of a man, JB has to keep following up man’s accomplishments by saying, “…but I would be nothing, nothing, without a woman or a girl.” Although I have heard this line a million times before, it gave me a moment to reflect on the real strengths of marriage””balance and unity. We often hear people declare they can make it on their own, without a man or woman. But, for those that are married our plans, ambitions, and goals are at best hobbled until both man and woman are united in their focus. And that is where the biblical reality of becoming one flesh kicks in. Because, just as It’s A Man’s World makes transitions from individual to team success, “one flesh” thinking transitions our marriage from individual pride to team power.
What Is One Flesh?
So…then, what does it mean to become one flesh? Well, I do not think it means we are to dress alike and finish each other’s sentences; it probably does not even mean we have to always agree. It probably means little about what a couple does physically and more about what they are, emotionally and spiritually. More likely, it speaks to the unity and subsequent strength that a husband and wife gain when they are walking in step with one another. It means that we spend our energy continuously pulling up the seeds and if need be the weeds of discord that would want to grow between us. It also means that we are removing those things that seek to keep us bound to old perspectives and attitudes, instead of becoming united as one in desire and focus.
As my mind now goes back to the lyrics of James Brown, “one flesh” also in a practical sense means that in a healthy marriage there is no room for taking credit and keeping score. Because, all that either a man or woman is or does is nothing, nothing, nothing without the balance of the other. If you think back to when you were on the playground as a kid, even the most athletic kid on the block could not ride on the see-saw by themselves. It took someone else to balance them out (similar in weight). Even if the two people were unequal or dissimilar in many ways, they still could find some level of success on the see-saw. Likewise, spouses have neither the same strengths nor weaknesses but if equally yoked and pursuing to become one flesh, they find balance. And it is indeed a long term pursuit and not a singular destination.
In the constant pursuit of unity and balance, a man gains comfort in being head of the household without threat, because in his wife he finds balance not a competitor. In the same way, a wife can be who she is, and not run the risk of feeling marginalized, because she knows her husband is her balance not her overseer. Keep in mind that God made both male and female, so let’s celebrate one another.
BMWK, let’s help each other out here. How do you celebrate the balance your spouse brings to you?
Pknight41 says
I celebrate the balance my husband brings to me by telling him how wonderful he is. In addition, I tell others (including our daughter). He is talented at many things, and sort of a jack-of-all-trades. The things that he is good at, are usually things that I don’t do well. We are a perfect mix of opposites. The great thing about that is that our household lacks nothing. Our daughter knows that one of her parents can do whatever needs to be done! This allows us to bless the block we live on, the neighborhood we live in, the city, and literally anywhere we go!
I am grateful that because we let God’s grace flow through our marriage by celebrating our differences, there is no lack among God’s children. I love to see this reflected in other marriages, as well. It’s my desire to see others experience the blessings of marriage and family, also.
SDL says
PKnight41, Your comment sounds like I wrote it myself. I could not have said it better. So I will just say, “Ditto”! I would like to add that my husband and I have a daughter and son (in that order). Along with my daughter my son sees his father as an example of a godly. I am so blessed that God answered my prayers before I was found by my husband because that was not the example in my home growing up. As a result of this, I didn’t recognize our differences as balances only as opposition, therefore, I was defensive at times until the Lord helped me to see the blessing in our relationship. I now celebrate the balance my husband brings to me. If I may echo your words, “It’s my desire to see others experience the blessings of marriage and family, also.” Thank you for sharing and I pray that the two of you will continue to enjoy the blessings of God in your union.
SDL says
oops…I have forgot to put “man”after godly. sorry for the typo!
Sherri says
I love this post. I have been married for nine years and I must admit it took my husband and I a while to recognize the blessing in our differences. I love this post even more because it was written by a man. It is easy for men and women to recognize their own worth. It is less common for us to acknowledge the opposite sex and all they have to offer.
Briana Myricks says
My husband brings balance in the form of being the calm person in our marriage. I’m usually the worried one, the stressed one, and he’s the calm and relaxed one. When he calms me down, I thank him for being that person consistently. I always remind him how much I appreciate it.
Michelle Grant says
Awesome pastor. I think this marks truth in what I believe. The power of teamwork. Team does not mean one who is like you. It means one who brings to the table the equation needs for that couple to be whole. I am blessed that I am apart of a group which view the positivity of black marriage and family. As I await my time to join in one with a future mate, I stay inspired by the postings.