I always find it amazing how well my husband knows me. I mean he knows me, knows me. It’s almost eerie. He knows me below the surface. I can’t fool him, not that I would want to, but I know I would be unable to. Just the other day I was complaining about something and I mentioned why I was complaining and he knew it wasn’t the real reason. He told me exactly what I was thinking and feeling. I couldn’t do anything but laugh and tell him he was right. In that moment was another reminder of why I loved him so much. My husband calls me out on my mess and doesn’t tell me just what he thinks I want to hear. And the great part in all of this is that he does it without judging or criticizing, it’s done in love.
What’s so great about my spouse is that he allows me to be me. He has created a safe place for me to vent, cry and complain. (However, I don’t do this often). Sometimes he’ll offer up suggestions on how to fix it and other times he’ll allow me to talk through it resulting in my own solution. He loved me in the beginning, when I wasn’t all that easy to love and now he continues to be patient, kind and in tune with me. He knows how to be my friend.
Sometimes we overlook the simple things our spouses do that add to our lives. The things that aren’t working tend to stand out the most and unfortunately that is where some of us place our focus; on what our spouses could be doing better. But what if we were to take a day where we only focused on the good our spouses bring to the table? I mean the whole day.
Here’s my challenge: pick one random day and from sun up to sun down take either a mental or physical note of the great family/household contributions your spouse made that day. But don’t let your spouse in on what you’re doing. Observe the large tasks, like repainting the kitchen to the small ones like doing the laundry or helping the children with the homework and everything in between. Then the next day spend time thanking your spouse for those very things you noticed. The idea is to begin to shift the focus more toward the positive.
We can miss the wonderful we have in our spouses by highlighting only what needs improvement. Of course we can lovingly assist them in those areas, but let’s also praise them for their strengths. Imagine what this can do for your spouse if this became a frequent ritual.
BMWK family, it’s shout out time! What’s that one special thing your spouse adds to your life and how often do you tell them?