I always find it amazing how well my husband knows me. I mean he knows me, knows me. It’s almost eerie. He knows me below the surface. I can’t fool him, not that I would want to, but I know I would be unable to. Just the other day I was complaining about something and I mentioned why I was complaining and he knew it wasn’t the real reason. He told me exactly what I was thinking and feeling. I couldn’t do anything but laugh and tell him he was right. In that moment was another reminder of why I loved him so much. My husband calls me out on my mess and doesn’t tell me just what he thinks I want to hear. And the great part in all of this is that he does it without judging or criticizing, it’s done in love.
What’s so great about my spouse is that he allows me to be me. He has created a safe place for me to vent, cry and complain. (However, I don’t do this often). Sometimes he’ll offer up suggestions on how to fix it and other times he’ll allow me to talk through it resulting in my own solution. He loved me in the beginning, when I wasn’t all that easy to love and now he continues to be patient, kind and in tune with me. He knows how to be my friend.
Sometimes we overlook the simple things our spouses do that add to our lives. The things that aren’t working tend to stand out the most and unfortunately that is where some of us place our focus; on what our spouses could be doing better. But what if we were to take a day where we only focused on the good our spouses bring to the table? I mean the whole day.
Here’s my challenge: pick one random day and from sun up to sun down take either a mental or physical note of the great family/household contributions your spouse made that day. But don’t let your spouse in on what you’re doing. Observe the large tasks, like repainting the kitchen to the small ones like doing the laundry or helping the children with the homework and everything in between. Then the next day spend time thanking your spouse for those very things you noticed. The idea is to begin to shift the focus more toward the positive.
We can miss the wonderful we have in our spouses by highlighting only what needs improvement. Of course we can lovingly assist them in those areas, but let’s also praise them for their strengths. Imagine what this can do for your spouse if this became a frequent ritual.
BMWK family, it’s shout out time! What’s that one special thing your spouse adds to your life and how often do you tell them?
Guest says
My husband does everything from cooking to cleaning to taking care of our young twins. But when I tell him thank you, he says that means nothing. I need to show him.
Schteveo says
I wandered in here looking for something else, but saw this article, then your comment.
As a 56 y/o man who has been married to the same women for 38 years (minus 31 days), who was raised by a mother who taught her 3 sons, and her daughter, that there are ONLY two things women can do that men can’t (live birth and breast feeding) and finally, as the person who has done most of the food buying and cooking for our family, even when our sons were children, I’d like to address your husbands statement.
He’s a JERK!
He somehow has gotten the idea that he’s supposed to get ‘rewarded’ for doing what needs to be done ANYWAY. Do you get rewarded at that level BY him. Go get $20 worth of $1 bills, the next time he says that, hand him a buck. If he wants to be treated like domestic help, tip him!
I think I know how he wants to be ‘shown’, that makes him a sexist JERK!
Tell him Steve on this web site said so.
Briana Myricks says
One of the best contributions my husband gives is cooking. There’s times when I don’t feel like cooking, and I don’t want to get fast food either, and he just gets up and goes into the kitchen. I don’t have to ask, I don’t have to say anything. I love that. Food is the way into my heart, and he’s got that covered.
MRSW says
One of the greatest things about my husband is his willingness to PRAY about everything. This is one of the most satisfying traits that he has. I love this about him.