I enjoy the reactions of my daughters whenever my husband and I embrace or share a quick smooch in their presence. Their overly dramatic shrills of “yuck” and “gross” are only surface responses. I know deep down they appreciate having two parents who love each other and show it. It’s usually obvious by the smiles that come along with their fake disgust.
What our children witness and experience while they are being raised is important to both my husband and myself. I have to consider the impact every decision I make will have on their lives. They are going to develop into grown women who will mirror what they saw coming up. In addition to happy childhood memories, I want them to remember seeing a marriage filled with joy, love and trust. As a parent, I know my girls are worthy of the best life has to offer and being in a relationship that honors and respects them demonstrates that.
Handling conflict, being respectful in a partnership, and making our spouse a priority are all things I want them to learn. If my girls see us fighting and failing to communicate effectively that becomes their normal. It gives them permission to seek a relationship just like that. Or even worst, it has them growing up worrying about the staying power of our marriage.
As I imagine my girls, years from now, describing their parents marriage I hope they will be able to say:
“Mom and dad enjoyed being married”
“Our parents never disrespected one another”
“Our parents always made the other feel important”
“Dad and Mom put God first in everything they did”
In order for this to become a reality, we must make our marriage one that is easy to enjoy. Creating a partnership by communicating, sacrificing and doing what leads to peace is key. My husband and I have an understanding that we always speak to each other with respect and make the other a priority. Without God as the head of our lives, we both know our marriage would fail.
Having children makes us more committed to our marriage. But even when our children are grown and gone with their own families, I still want all of the above statements to be our reality.
BMWK, What Do You Want Your Children to Say About Your Marriage?