How often have you heard the phrase, “marriage takes work”? This saying usually raises concerns to those who are considering marriage. Married folks definitely make it sound a lot harder than it actually is. Those single folks who were already on the fence can easily be persuaded to remain single at the thought of “work”. I mean who really wants to work when it comes to love?
Love should come easy and should feel good, right? When it doesn’t we panic. While marriage won’t always feel like a honeymoon, we definitely shouldn’t fret when we are required to give a little more energy than we thought.
Yes, it’s true we won’t experience a happy ever after without putting in the elbow grease. But man oh man is that happy ever after worth it.
In case you’re wondering what the “work” looks like, here are a few examples.
Sometimes you’ll have to decipher the mixed messages your spouse may be sending. Unfortunately we don’t all communicate exactly the same. As a result there is sometimes confusion. We have to ask questions when we are unclear instead of jumping to conclusions and making assumptions. We must also pay attention to their actions. Even when our partner doesn’t communicate effectively, we can count on their repetitive actions to be our guide.
Often times you’ll need to make sacrifices and you won’t always have your way. Since you decided to share your life with another person there are some accommodations that have to be made. Your spouse is also going to have needs and they are going to make requests of you. Sometimes unreasonable requests. However, sacrifices should feel good because we know the main reason we’re giving up something is for love and the sake of another. The awesome thing about marriage is that the person you love will also be willing to make similar sacrifices for your benefit.
Occasionally you may feel overwhelmed. I’ve found this is true for most every area in our life- our jobs, parenting and in other relationships. However, there are benefits that come along with each and the same needs to be said for marriage. With the job, we receive a paycheck. With parenting we get to celebrate the accomplishments of our children and observe the adults they become. With marriage, the fruits of our labor yield love and support and we can be confident knowing we have someone who truly loves us to grow old with.
Our relationships need us to show up at our best, ready to sacrifice, love and give our everything to our marriage. The work in your marriage isn’t without reward. We can sometimes get sidetracked by the idea of it all, but anything worth having is going to require some serious TLC.
BMWK, how would you describe the “work” required in marriage?