One day, when going through my parents’ old photographs, I found a picture of my teenaged parents sitting together on a couch in my grandparents’ house. Now, they’ve known each other since they were 12, so hanging out together was probably a frequent occurrence by that point. What was striking about the picture is that my dad had a suit on and my mom had on a dress that only a tad bit too informal for a prom or some other school dance.
“Were you about to go out?” I asked my mom.
She craned her neck to look at the pictures in my lap and shook her head. “Nope.”
“Well”...did you just come back from somewhere nice?”
“No.” She shrugged. “Your dad just came over to watch a movie.”
“He came over to your house in a SUIT to watch a movie with you?”
She rolled her eyes. “What was he supposed to wear? He was coming over to my house to see me and spend time with me and my parents were going to be home as well. It wouldn’t have been appropriate for him to show up in a doo-rag and Timbs”...” she added, mocking my outfit of choice for guys back then. (Please don’t hold that against me ““ I’ve grown since then!)
I paused.
Just by looking at that photo, I could see the kind of respect my dad had for my mom, even back then, in the early stages of their relationship. By taking the time to put on a suit and tie (which, yes, might be a overkill) just to sit on a couch, he showed that he knew she was special.
The only time I ever had a dating experience close to that I ended up marrying the guy. I don’t think people (at least those my age, in their 20s) really know what dating is. Dating is seen more as something to do to pass the time on a Friday night rather than a chance to learn about yourself, the person you’re interested in and if a future together would work.
What do you think? Is dating passé? In a world of hook-ups and quickie marriages and even quicker divorces, do you think people know anything about courting?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.