Whether it’s the end of a marriage (as I shared in my book “It’s My Life and I Live Here: One Woman’s Story“) or the end of a relationship, a breakup is never easy to handle. This is especially true when children are involved. So now that the breakup has happened, what do you do?
- First, face the painful reality that the breakup has happened. This is not an easy place to be, and many of us tend to tell ourselves that it’s not really happening, or that things will be back to normal very soon. It may, but also it may not.
- Take some time to reflect on what may have led up to the breakup. Admit to yourself the role you played in the relationship and in its ultimate demise, and realize that there may be lessons to be learned from this situation.
- Review and revise any financial arrangements you may share with your spouse or significant other to minimize the stress and angst that a breakup already brings. If your financial position is complex or sizable, consider hiring a financial professional (and possibly a lawyer) to assist you.
- Make an effort to maintain an atmosphere of peace around you. In my book I shared how I got tired of the shouting matches between my ex and myself, especially with our toddler son watching and listening. I decided to move out from our marital home for my peace of mind.
- Avoid situations that will make the effects of the breakup more difficult to manage in the long-term. Make an effort to limit arguing (which can escalate to fighting) especially if children are involved. They will remember those heated arguments long after they end. If you feel pushed to the point of taking drugs or increasing your alcohol intake because of the marital or relationship breakup, seek the advice of a medical professional immediately.
- As a follow-up to steps 4 & 5, consider seeking a mental health professional to help you sort through your relationship. Their professional training and objective perspective may help you see or understand your circumstances from a better angle.
- Last, but certainly not least, pray. Spend some time in prayer about your situation, and ask God to give you the wisdom and strength to handle your heartache.
It is never easy to navigate through a relationship breakup, but taking these steps can help you manage the first few weeks of the new situation. No matter how dark it seems today, just believe that things will get better with time. You will survive!