If there is one thing that I’ve learned from couples that are much further along in their marriage journey than I am, it is that you will have some rough times.
Sometimes you will have some really rough times. And sometimes you may have days, weeks, or even months that cause you to doubt your relationship and make you feel like you want to leave.
In fact, I believe that it is highly unlikely to find a couple that has been happily married every single moment of their marriage. But I think the biggest difference between the couples that made it through and those that didn’t often isn’t the problem at hand. Sometimes it’s simply the fact that they didn’t let go.
I have seen many couples that you never would have guessed had been at the brink of separation or divorce at some point that are happily married today. Despite their differences, they didn’t give up, and were able to reap the benefit.
If you are feeling those rumblings of doubt over your relationship, instead of taking the opportunity to withdraw or let go, use that time to hold on even tighter. Have a vision for your marriage and fight for it. Set all of your differences aside for just a day and be as nice to your spouse as you possibly can. Fake it “˜til you make it if you need to, but do what you must to make it. I can’t claim to know everything about making a marriage work, but I do know that the sure way to make it fail is by giving up.
In the end, every marriage is different and there may be some that cannot, or should not be saved. But it is better to know that you gave it all that you had, than to give up and wonder whether you left before you got to the very best part. Marriage can be a bumpy ride, so to make it through you’ll need to grab on to love and hold on tight.
Have you been through a time where you wanted to leave your marriage? What did you do to make it through the rough times?
Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and public relations consultant in Baltimore, Maryland. Find out more about her at www.ajadorseyjackson.com or follow her on twitter @ajajackson.