It might not feel like it to the two people involved in the relationship, but I believe opposites attract. They can actually create a pretty dynamic relationship if both are tolerant of their differences. What one spouse doesn’t possess, the other can make up for. Although it can sometimes lead to frustration, having a partner who can bring a different perspective to the relationship could be a great benefit.
I can’t imagine being married to someone just like me. It would drive me completely insane. If my husband and I were just alike, there wouldn’t be any money saved because of all the frivolous spending, and some of the decisions needing to be made wouldn’t be as well thought out as they are now. Yes, I am grateful for our differences.
I am finding that the majority of things couples complain about are those differences. “Why won’t he communicate with me”, “Why does she spend so much money” are just a few of those grievances. In some cases these are things we knew about our partner in the beginning, we just thought we could change them. When reality kicks in and we realize they are who we thought they were, we get worried. If you feel like you’re currently in an unbalanced relationship, you could be better off than you think.
It’s misguided to think our relationship is doomed because our spouse doesn’t communicate the way we do
It’s misguided to think our relationship is doomed because our spouse doesn’t communicate the way we do. Yes, we’ll have to learn each other’s style and make some slight alterations to our own in order to accommodate our partner, but isn’t that what commitment is all about? Communication can be so tricky. Who doesn’t want a partner who is able to open up and share what’s on their heart? However, this isn’t easy for everyone. Some are dealing with issues from their past where being vulnerable failed them. So it makes sense that now they aren’t as eager to open up.
Communication is two-part; it’s more than just talking. When we know our spouse is one who doesn’t communicate, we just have to get a little creative and be more accepting of who they are. Couples must find new ways to listen because we all don’t communicate the same. While the silent-type isn’t necessarily talking, they probably are listening, really listening. Although the silent type won’t always verbalize what they’re feeling, their actions are usually sending a message to the other spouse. You can really get to know a person just by observing. We’ll learn our partner’s likes and dislikes just by paying attention to what they do in certain situations, not always by what they say. We can create an amazing marriage when we stop being so concerned about anything our spouse does that’s different from the way we do it. The focus should be on making the partnership work.
A great relationship can exist between opposites. Whether you’re a big spender married to a penny pincher, or a spontaneous individual married to the homebody, enjoy and embrace your differences. Marriage can be an awesome experience when we look for new ways to communicate, learn and connect with our spouse. Our differences can really add a great dynamic to our relationship.
BMWK, how do you and your spouse handle your differences?