Out with the old and in with the new. Preparing for a new year requires us to take an honest assessment of the prior year. As we set our expectations or create new year’s resolutions, a decision must be made on what we leave behind. Not everything we experienced in 2013 had a positive impact on our lives. There were things out of our control like the loss of loved ones and natural disasters. But there were also situations, behaviors and choices made that were well within our control. A few worked for us and then there were some that caused a little damage in our lives and relationships. The mistakes we made should have quickly turned into life lessons. Those life lessons, when they hurt enough, hopefully won’t be repeated.
I have already mentally set my usual marriage goals for the new year, which include being more patient and listening more attentively. In order for me to achieve them, I must recognize the habits I displayed that led to the need for these goals. I recognize that whatever has caused stress in my marriage in 2013 cannot follow me into 2014. Here are just a few habits I’ll be leaving behind:
In order to listen more attentively, I have to put my electronics aside. This includes my cell phone, laptop, and the television. All that distracts from being present when my husband is looking to communicate has to be moved to the back burner. How can I expect him to open up to me if I’m only half listening.
Being more patient means I have to handle my frustrations and reactions when things don’t move as quickly or go according to my own plan. Reacting in love and taking my time with how I respond is going to benefit us both.
My ultimate goal for 2014 is for love to be ever present. In everything I do as well as the things I say, I want my husband to always feel the love I have for him. My marriage, just like my other important relationships, need me to show up in a positive way. The bad habits are distractions that take me further away from my relationship goals, when I allow them to. I desire an amazing 2014. That can’t happen unless I’m completely focused and making the necessary sacrifices. I know I’m not alone. There are others who are aware of the habits they need to leave behind. I hope you will join me by recognizing what they are and making a conscious effort to create an even better relationship in 2014.
BMWK, which relationship habits will you leave in 2013?