A marriage is only as strong as the influences each spouse allows to speak directly into their lives. I’ve heard it all this week: a mother-in-law telling her son that his wife is no good; a close family friend telling a couple their marriage would not last; a brother or sister telling a sibling that they are better than their spouse, and it’s time to leave.
Don’t get me wrong: in the case of abuse or endangerment of the children, I understand such thoughts. But what of those people in our lives that are miserable, and would like nothing more than to have company? It’s up to us to ensure that the people we allow to influence our marriage have our marriage’s best interests at heart. It’s difficult to find such influential people, but here are some characteristics that can give you a good clue as to whether or not they can be entrusted with the inner workings of your marriage:
- They do not placate or enable you just because they love you.
- They are objective and unbiased, regardless of what has been said or done within the relationship.
- They are committed to telling you the truth, no matter how difficult it may be to hear it.
- They have come through their own marital storms victoriously.
- They know both you and your spouse, and want what is best for your family unit, not just the individual pieces.
- They do what they say they will do, especially when it comes to prayer.
As I stated earlier, misery loves company. There are some people who are addicted to drama, and when the trials in their own lives aren’t enough, they will be more than willing to help you create your own drama through tainted advice and cloudy guidance. On the other end of the spectrum, wisdom begets wisdom. Take the time to listen to those whose marriages and lifestyles are successful.
Who do you allow to influence your marriage? What kinds of characteristics do your friends/mentors/family members have that have built up trust that they have the best interests of your marriage at heart?
God bless!
~ Harriet